c h R i S s y

What Is Love?

2009-11-08T03:46:00.000+08:00

Love is a feeling of great fondness or enthusiasm for a person or thing. This also means that you have a great passion or interest for that person or thing. LOVE is a big and strong word. If you misuse it, you could hurt yourself, or even someone else. Love is sensitive, and love helps you express your feelings better. You can love many things. Your family, your friends, your religion, recreational activities, or a special someone. This someone special could be a close friend, an important person, or that one person that you want to be with for the rest of your life. When you tell someone you love them, you are making a promise to that person that you want to always be there for them, and that you care about them that much. When you tell someone you love them, you are also indirectly telling them that you can't let them go. Loving someone means that they are important to you. As such, if you tell someone you love them, and you end up not being there for them, it would in turn hurt that person. Because with love comes trust. As you told that someone you loved them, they put that trust that you would always be there when in need. Not being there would cause this person to lose this trust, which would in turn get them hurt. How do you know when you love something? Simple. You should know when you first start feeling comfortable around them. This would then lead you to enjoying their presence, and being happy when they are around. As this love begins to grow stronger, you would begin to grow more attached to this someone. This means that you would begin to become more and more affected to how this person is feeling. Which also means being more sensitive towards that person. For instance, if this person is feeling sad about something, you would begin to feel upset as well. You would start to grow more fond into making them happy, and might even go to any extent to do so. When you love someone, you are also assuring them that you care not about how they look like. Be it pretty or ugly, fat or thin, Or any other physical property for that matter. What you are really telling them is that you care about their personality more than anything else. With love also comes understanding. If you love someone, you would be more understanding to the things that they do. If it is something wrong, you would help that person to make it right, instead of making matters worse. And if it is something right, you would support that person. Arguing with someone you love is very normal. This is because you care for the person so much, that when something happens or is done, you would be concerned and speak of how you feel. This sometimes creates a conflict of thinking. Thus, arguing with someone you love would in turn bring you to learn more about that person. As such, love is a never-ending journey. Love is to understand, to have faith, hope, and trust, in that person. In conclusion, never misuse love. This would bring someone, or even yourself to get hurt. Love is a strong word, and love can make someone happy or sad. So always be sure to be sensitive, patient, and kind. Because that my friends, is love. So to all those who think you are in love, think again. This is an original writing by me, Christopher Paul. =)

2009-04-24T00:26:00.002+08:00

Hi, I know nobody probably visits this anymore, but nevermind.

Life can get difficult! Just like my exam topic today, Choices. Choices, life is full of them. Choices can be hard to make, they could be good or bad. There are right and wrong choices. Choices have their outcomes, negative or positive. Making the right choice is not always easy. Making the wrong choice leaves you lost and hurt. Sometimes, to make things better, the wrong choice, could be the right one. Every choice helps you to experience something new.

Sometimes, I don't know what to do, what choice to make, how to carry on. Sometimes I don't know how to express myself. Sometimes I'm afraid of saying something, in case it might hurt someone, or affect something. But it all still comes down to the choice. The choice of what to do. Once you've chosen that choice, you can't turn back. You have to support that choice, and treat it like it means your life. I hope I've made the right choices, to make things better.

And, don't you think that sometimes, saying sorry is not what you want from someone when they do something wrong? Don't you ever fell that you want them to change, and not let it happen again, instead of saying sorry all the time, for the same thing they always do, or even for something they've never did at all? Don't you feel that sometimes its hard to trust? But you trust because of how much you love and believe in that person? You trust because of all the other bigger things they have done, to prove to you they deserve it? Although its the smallest of things, that hurt and affect you the most?

Life can be complicated, nobody can go on on their own. Thats why I have her, to accompany me throughout everything, and to always be there for me. To pick me up when I fall, and carry me when I can't walk. To wipe away my tears, and put a smile on my face. To keep me warm when I'm cold, and to never forget, of how much I love and Trust in her. All I ask, is for her not to forget, or betray that.

6 Points BITCHES!

2008-12-20T01:56:00.003+08:00

Hello World! I'm finally back in action! But maybe its just for today. We'll see!
I'm actually here to tell all of you, who read my blog, that anyone can make it!

Just look at me. First hand example. From Sec1 express, where I was exceeding my expectations academically, to Sec2 express where I started failing almost everything. Dropping to Sec3 Normal did not change me at all. And my grandfather passing away was of no assistance to how ignorant I'd become towards my studies. Being retained in Sec3 Normal had not much of an effect on me. Infact, I practically became worse and couldn't care less about my studies. I began to skip school, sleep in class, and it became a normal routine to be seated at the school foyer whenever I decided to make an appearance in school. Moreover, the form teacher, and subject teachers that I had did not help in improving my results or discipline in school. Retaining again in Sec3 might have just given me a wake up call. I finally had a supportive form teacher, and comments from people like "Stayback" or "Old Man" made me want so badly to prove all of them wrong. I began to improve in my studies and my attitude towards doing my work. I managed to get 2nd in class for the Mid-Year Exams, but my results began to drop again after the June holidays. I dropped to 6th in class, but still managed to squeeze myself through to Secondary4, after spending 3 wasteful years in Sec3 Normal. Secondary4 meant an important year ahead. and I had to study hard and keep my head up just so to get through to sec5 the following year. At the beginning of the year, I had grown the same 'I-Don't-Care' attitude towards my studies. But as the Mid-Years ended, and the N Levels were just around the corner, I began to wake up again. I worked hard for my art, and put in more effort to my studies. I needed this, I wasted too much time! My results began to improve again. N Levels came and went. It felt like such a short while ago, but the dreadful day of receiving my results approached. I was afraid, I was scared. I may just have not done as well as I expected myself to do. I looked at my result slip, and was filled with joy, speechless and close to tears. Seriously. A total of 6 points got me through to sec5. And for once, I actually passed all my subjects. I've never done that ever since Sec1. Now thats a great acchievement. A1 for english, A2 for math, B3 for art, B3 for Humanities, And B4 for science, made me realise that I could do it if I put the effort in. And I'm sure anybody else can. So keep your heads high and never give up.

Now, I couldn't have done it without the help of my most beloved, and dearest girlfriend, Melissa Stewart, who forced me to study, and even brought me out with her to study, making sure I had put in the effort.

At that time also, although I don't want to mention it, Zain Ghazali who supported me.
I BEAT YOUR FUCKING 13-POINT ASS BITCH!

And all my friends like Rikhil and Nikkie who pushed me and pressurised me to study.
THANK YOU ALL!

6 POINTS BITCHES!!!

2008-11-22T04:55:00.002+08:00

Hello there! I bet my blog is more or less dead because I haven't been blogging for 10 years! But this is one is for my dearest love, Melissa Stewart!

Baby, I'm glad that you're the one I'm with. You have so much more than whatever I've seen in anyone else that I've ever met! You're always there for me. You're loving, caring, amazing, beautiful, adorable, cute, extraordinary, lovely, faithful, hopeful, and so so so much more, even words can't express. You love, care, have faith, have hope, have happiness, have joy. I really love you with all my heart. And I'd do anything just to make sure that you're happy. These past 4 1/2 months have been the best in my life, just because you're there. I've never had a relationship with so much love, care and concern before, and I'm happy that I'm having it now with you. I never want this to end, and I never want to lose this feeling, where everything is nothing without you! You support me in everything that I do, and you never lose faith in me. I'll always be there for you, just like you've always been there for me. You can make me miss you just with the blink of the eye. You're like my angel sent from up above to take care of and always be there for me. Our love, is a love I've never experienced, and probably a love nobody has ever experience too. I never want to lose this!

You're the sweetest girl ever in my life, and nothing can ever separate us. I love you with all my heart baby!

2008-08-04T08:52:00.001+08:00

Okay hello, so its been long. I've been really caught up with things and have also been super lazy to blog. So first I shall release my anger. On Friday, met Jen, John, Shabiri, and many other people. Zain was supposed to meet us at 2. So we waited for him at Parkway. When we reached he said he was 10 minutes away, so we went to Macs to wait for him. Lets just say all of us ended up waiting for him at Macs all the way till about 8 or 9+ just to realise that he was not going to come at all. He only answered our calls at around 7 or 8 to tell us he wasn't meeting us, and obvioulsy we all were super fucking pissed. We went to Bedok Court, and met Yin Yee, Jess, Kish, and Tracy, together with myself, John, Jen, and Ian. And we all waited for fuking Zain to come by just to pretend that nothing at all happened. In the end we waited for him for approximately 10 hours. Which is not a good amount of time, and as such, nobody wanted to forgive him. He did not have a proper explanation, neither did he seem to care about anything at all.

Saturday, had tuition in the morning, then met Mel and Sofia at around 330 at Bedok MRT to make our way to City Hall. Waited for Justin for about 45 minutes, and went to KFC cause Sofia and I were hungry. We made our way to the Esplanade. Now, Zain was supposed to provide us with the preview thickets for NDP, but in the end he didn't, and I think that he didn't even have the tickets to begin with. So we went to the bridge and waited there for everything. We saw the awesome planes that I want to fly. Go and watch, the planes this year are freaking awesome! Oh we saw the helicopter too, that I also want to fly. From then on, we waited for the fireworks, which was definitely worth the wait. Although it should have been longer. During the wait, we managed to joke and entertain ourselves, so it actually turned out to be fun. Went to Marina Square after that and walked around, then took train back. Spent some alone time with Mel near her house, and left at around 11+. So that was about 8 or 9 hours spent with her. I'm happy we could spend so much quality time together! So the day ended up to be fun, and I'm glad I managed to entertain those bums! =D

So that is all for now. I've got nothing to blog about sunday because I was sleeping practically the whole day, and I can't possibly tell you whatI was doing while I was sleeping, cause even I don't know.

For my dearest and most cherished one. Darling, I don't ever want to see or hear you talking so negatively. I love and care for you so much, and it really hurt me to hear you talk like that. I couldn't sleep properly worrying about whether you were alright or not. It really hurts me to see you like that, and i hope you begin to think more positively. Remember that I'll always be here with and for you through it all, and I'll never leave your side. Thats my whole point of being here, and I'll make sure that everything is alright. I've got alot of faith in you, and so should you have much faith in yourself. Don't ever give up, cause I'll be supporting you in every good thing that you do. I love you darling, now smile and be happy!

2008-07-18T22:10:00.003+08:00

Like WHAT THE FUCK man! Whatever happened yesterday shall not be mentioned here. But let me tell you this, its fucked, and I think my is too! Whoever that knows about it, just shut the fuck up. If you spread it, you face the fucking consequences. If I find out that you're spreading it, I'll fuck you so hard, you'll regret even kowing what happened. And to those that don't, don't fucking come and put your nose in. Some advise to all of you, just shut the fuck up. Thank you my darling dearest, Mel, for sticking for me through it all. I'm just afraid that this would affect our relationship, and that would be even more fucked up.

So many fucking problems down my neck, so many burdens to carry. I've still got my stupid smoking case to worry about. But through it all, my dearest one, Mel has been with me, and still is. Even after all the shit I've done, and problems I've caused, she is still here by my side. And I tell you this, this is the kind of love I was looking for all along. I hope it grows stronger. I love you Mel! You know its true!

And a special thanks also to Zain Ghazali! Who has been also talking to me and assuring me that everything will be alright, just like what Mel has been doing! I love you both! But obviously Zain, just as a friend, and Mel, more than a friend. Heh! Thank you both for sticking with me through it all! So thats all, I'll be back again when I'm feeling better, and more calm. For now, its goodbye.

2008-07-08T22:45:00.003+08:00

HELLO HELLO HELLO! The only reason I'm blogging now is because of how exciting and awesome my life has become! I'll start with Saturday. Got up early to make my way down to school for the stupid Turtle Race thing. Volunteered to help out Mr Thompson, to gain some CIP hours. We ended up waiting until about 9 or 10 something to help him. Carried like 10 pails full of water first, and the woman we helped still make noise all. So ungrateful man! So we slacked after that until DM called us to 'assist' him again. Carrying 27 boxes full of 300 rubber turtles each. Super tiring, super heavy, but fun! It was like some kind of bonding session between the retainees and Altar Servers of OLPS! The turtle race started, waited for all those dumb lifeless turtles to reach the end and began collecting them out of the canal. I had to climb in drains and places you don't want to know to retrieve the lost and stuck turtles. The whole day overall was actually quite fun. Had free lunch and drinks. It was the best school event ever, besides the funfair we had when I was sec2, which was 4 years back. Went for dinner at Parkway with Janice after that, and left for home.

So on Sunday, made my way to church, was late as usual. Attended mass, and slacked slacked slacked. Met Boon all after 1115 mass and went to Parkway. Accompanied Michael Chow and Daryl for awhile, then I left to make my way to Tanah Merah to meet Melsie! We took train to Somerset and went to watch You Don't Mess With The Zohan. The movie had its funny parts, but the storyline was CRAP! Which made the movie boring as hell. Mel was falling asleep. After the movie, I went to eat at KFC, and we went to walk at Heeren. Then we walked to Wisma and Pentagon And Taka. Sent Mel home after and that was it! I had much fun, of course.

Then Monday came. Supposed to meet Mel to study. Sofia came along, and we went to starbucks to get my Chocolate Cream Chip. Sat there for awhile, then left for Macs, where we were supposed to study. Zain came awhile later. Mel managed to do a little bit of her math, and I, 1 page of physics. Went to Banquet cause Zain wanted to have his 'fishball noodles', And I ended up eating as well. Went to borders and read kiddy books. Justin met us there an soon after we left for home. Didn't send Mel home cause I was late for tuition. And that was it for monday! Another great day, indeed!

Now for today, the best day ever! School was like normal, study a little, sleep a little. Met Zain after school, and went to PP to get something. Then made my way back to school to do art. Scott and I wanted to ciao early, but Mdm Nor caught us, so we had to stay a little longer. We then left, and made our way home. Got home and waited for Mel's call, thenmade my way to Siglap Starbucks to meet her, where I bumped into my ex classmates, whom abandoned me when I retained. Bought starbucks again, and took 14 to Tanah Merah. Then went to buy bubble tea, which tasted like shit today. Walked with Mel back to her place, slacked at her block for awhile, and before we left, the best thing happened! I'm so happy now la! I love you babes! Now and forever! =D

2008-06-29T02:22:00.002+08:00

Hello hello! Life right now hasn't been 'great', but neither has it been 'sucky'. I've been having my ups and downs. Ever since stupid school re-opened, I've been busy and staying back everyday to complete my art, which, for your information, if not completed, would be considered a fail on the spot. And I only have 2 weeks left. How awesome! But other than school related topics, everything has been going on Great! Oh wait, except for one last thing. I have a curfew set by my mum to be back by 10 on school days, and 11 on weekends. What the hell is that man! I've never had a curfew in my life. Feels so different and I feel so restrained. As if all my freedom is slowly being taken away. I can't wait for my N's to be over, although I still have my O's to worry about. But thats next year. I just want to enjoy like how I always have been.

The most awesome part of my life now is love. Isn't it just great, when you fall in love with someone. You see, there is this girl. My god she is mind blowing and heart melting! So beautiful, awesome and nice. So wonderful, caring and extraordinary. So loving. She is everything I could ever ask for, I swear. The best ever! I've never felt happier in my life. She fills up my heart. Completes me like a jigsaw puzzle. I don't know what else to say. Well, lets just say in this short period, she has been there for me to cheer me up and keep me going. The both of us have so much in common, and it really attracts me even more to her. Sometimes she leaves me speechless, sometimes I've got so much to tell her. How much I feel about her, how much I love her! I feel so good about this. I guess I've said enough for now. Till I feel like saying more!

2008-06-18T02:36:00.002+08:00

Hello there! Today was like freaking awesome man! Got up at around 11 to go down to school, to show face for the Holy Family Church Altar Servers Camp. Reached there around 1, and played water games. Water bombs and basins full of water, been awhile since I've done all these. It's quite kiddy, but it's still fun afterall. Hey, no harm reliving those old childhood days is there? After all that, at around 3, we went off to play soccer. Running up and down for 2 hours under he hot scorching sun is seriously no joke. Everyone was almost dehydrated, and we probably finished up to at least 10 bottles of water altogether. But even so, it was fun to interact with the fellow servers in other manners other than serving. After soccer, Boon and I left. Then I remembered that I had lef my phone in the filed and had to climb to get it as the field was already locked. Got home, showered, and went down to get a haircut as my hair was getting long, I was feeling super hot, and school is about to reopen. Got home and showered again.

Then I made my way down to Parkway to meet MEL! Waited for her for quite sometime, but never mind, it was definitely worth the wait. Ate my dinner at Macs, and after which Mel and I took a nice long walk at east coast from Parkway to the Burger King, where I finally decided to sit down. Thats where we stayed, slacked, danced, laughed, sang, joked, and relaxed. Left at around 11 and sent the girl home. I really really had alot alot of fun with Melsey today! YAY! Hope to get more of it soon. Thank you Mel for spending your precious time with me yet again, it was really really enjoyable! You rock ass sexy! Oh Mel, fill in the blanks, I Think That I'm Really Really _______ ___ ___! YAY! You know what it is! Oh and I'm going to miss you laods when I go away to Penang? Heh! ILY!

2008-06-14T03:22:00.003+08:00

Why Hello There! Okay I've been really really busy! Especially From last Friday, so sorry I Haven't been blogging much. Went for a cruise from Friday to Sunday. I shall not write about that. Pictures are on my friendster, and I'm sure they speak for themselves. Anyway, Zain is away now, so I've been like super bored. Was at home the whole day doing nothing, but that's not what I'm here for. I'm here to blog about yesterday.

So anyway, I was rotting at home. Mel asked me to meet her at Bugis, but at 10pm, after her drama thingy. So I met her there, then came all the way back to Bedok Court, to bring her to the 20th storey. The train ride and walk back, was super entertaining and funny. As usual we were doing stupid and weird things, and laughing at each other. So then, 20th storey, I'm super glad you liked it, Mel. She was counting stars and we started wondering why people wish upon the stars and not the moon or sun. Hah! Well, there isn't any shooting moon or anything right? If there is please let me know. I think it'll be quite cool to see that. So anyway, after that I walked her all the way back to her place, cause she was scared of getting lost, raped, or kidnapped. And mind you, her place isn't that near to walk to. See how nice I am. But I did have my fun, and so did she, I believe. Once again we were being weird and silly along the way. I'm happy I met her man. Freaking awesome person can! So then she went home and I walked all the way back home, all by myself. Hope to spend more time with you, Mel. Love love love you! =D
So that is about it for now.

A Feeling Like This

2008-06-06T04:43:00.002+08:00

What If I Told You I Loved You?
Would That Mean Anything To You At All?
Cause Baby, I Think I'm Falling For You!

2008-06-03T02:21:00.002+08:00

Hello again. Looks like someone has been blogging more often than ever huh! So anyway, got up early today. Well, not that early, but at 10. Got ready to meet Nikkie and Rikhil. Met them at around 12 and we made our way to Cathay to watch a movie! Yay! First movie with them, and first movie after a really really long time. So anyway, watched Narnia. It was quite good, lots and lots of cool parts! After the movie, we took a walk down to Centrepoint, and ate at Macs, where obviously, my food and drink got stolen again, as usual. Whats new right. After eating, went down to Heeren, and saw my awesome sister, Vanessa there. Spent most of our time at HMV. I left there at around 6 as I had to be back earlier. Met Mel at City Hall, and took train back with her. Was quite fun, and I had cookies! I like when the both of us began to randomly dance at the same time, super cool. So that was it. Got home showered, and got ready for....... TUITION! How awesome. Yes I have tuition now, the first time after eh maybe 4 years? Yes, around there! Well, it went well I guess. Its probably going to help me anyway. Grandmothers place! Met Zain, Sheeka, and Kish. Slacked awhile and left. Sent Zain and Sheeka to the bus stop and Zain and I began to compare thighs and acted like idiots, while Sheeka was laughing her ass off! It was actually really quite funny! Got back, did my art and completed more than what I expected to. To 'you know who you are' , have fun at your trip. Will definitely be missed by me me me! I will be awaiting your return. Well, thats it for today! Till the next time I drop by, CIAO!

2008-06-02T02:05:00.000+08:00

When you finally find the special someone you love so much, don't give up, give it your all!

2008-05-29T02:16:00.002+08:00

On the search and wait for Love. Will you be the one? I'll be waiting, make the first move baby. Its your turn now, and its going to be our show. Lets shine together. Nothing means more to me, than being with you. Cause my eyes, are screaming for the sight of you, but there is nothing I can do. You can't see that I love you, but I'm wishing tonight upon a star, that you might just love me too. As the night remains silent, my heart keeps yearning, for you loving hands to touch me. I hope you can see what I can see, what we could be. Look into my eyes, so you could see, how beautiful you are. I you were to be the one, show me a sign, show me that you love me. I want you, but do you want me too? We're in this together, and I promise you can trust me, when I tell you, I'd never leave your side. A I love you in advance, is all I can say. Figure me out, and figure yourself out, and you'd know, that the person I love, is you!

2008-05-28T00:22:00.002+08:00

Why hello there one and all! Today was just an okay day for me! Went to school in the morning for Brothers Humanitites class, came home and bummed around then went off to Parkway again with Rikhil to meet Nikkie. Read the same books, but found more interesting stories this time. Certain things happened but they shall remain unspoken. My lips are sealed!

So anyway, there is only one purpose I came here to blog. To elaborate more about what I wanted to talk about yesterday, Love. So yes, I want to fall in love again, for some reason. The feeling of being in love and being loved, to me, is just so freaking awesome! I'm not saying all my past relationships were all full of shit. But only about 1 or 2 were great. Yes, I mean, isn't it great to always know that you've got someone right by your side to make sure that you're always happy? Isn't it great to know that you're always being loved and cared for by that special someone? You other half, the one that perfects you, the one that keeps your heart beating, the only one who would probably know you inside out. The one who would always support you in every decision you make, unless its totally the wrong decision of course. Then there are arguments. Yeah nobody loves them, but whoever said you should hate them? Arguments are what brings you closer and helps you to understand your partner more right? Do you see that as a bad thing? I suggest you shouldn't! Arguing over something is one of the stupidest reason to break-up, and most break-ups are caused by arguing. If it brings you closer, why should you, right? And there is also the ' You don't spend enough time with me ' part. Well, yes I agree, spending time with your soulmate is a very important factor in growing closer to each other and all. But that doesn't mean you must spend every second, minute, hour, day, week, and year together right. You could meet once or twice a week, definitely talk on the phone a few other times, and most probably message each other everyday. So whats the problem there? Anyway, being apart from each other helps the heart to grow fonder. Isn't that something good as well? So, I really really miss the feeling of being in love. Those sweet flattering messages, those random calls just to say 'I Love You', those beautiful gifts we exchange, but most importantly, the time spent together, learning more about each other, understanding each other, and of course, loving each other. All these added up leads to the best feeling anyone could ever have. And thats love! I've met many new people, and I've also grown closer to many, but I still don't know who I love. I want to take my time on this one, so that I know I did not ever make the wrong decision, because I want my next relationship to be serious, steady, fun, and awesome. And I don't want to ever miss being in love again. So there it is! Cheers for now! Byeeee!

2008-05-27T00:38:00.002+08:00

Hey there! Chris here! Nothing much to be said as I was at home for most of the day. Only went out at 7 for dinner with Rikhil And Nikkie to Parkway, and bummed around. Went to read Singapore's True Ghost stories although they don't really sound real. Talked about all our past experiences on the way home. And now I'm fucking scared. Thoguht I saw something downstairs from my window, but I guess my mind is just playing tricks on me. I'm sure you would be too if you heard of all the stories. Was even afraid to shower, in the comfort of my own home. Oh my! Well, I prayed at my altar today, first after a very long time. Normally I'd just lay in bed to pray. And I think I need to pray more, seriously. And, I need to build on my faith! I NEED MORE FAITH!

I'm feeling very insecure about my life now! I don't know why but for some reason I'm just getting worried about what my future will bring me. Firstly, I don't even seem to feel some sense of urgency in my upcoming N's. I need to wake up my idea, if not now, definitely soon! And I don't know who I love or anything like that. My friendship with one of my closest friends ever is on the rocks. I don't know what is in for me next. I don't want to lose my friend. So stress so stress. Hope that everything will get back to normal soon.

For some reason I want to be in love again. I really really miss being in love. The feeling of it, having someone there. Knowing that she would always be there for you through thick and thin. Be there to share good memories and fix bad ones. I miss sitting by the beach, watching the stars and moon, watching the sunset, playing in the water, and just sitting there hoping that nothing is going to end. I don't know who I love, or who I want to love right now, so please stop asking me. Its seriously adding up to all of my problems and feelings, which is seriously weighing me down. I want to take my time to find that love. Whether its from an ex or from someone new. Let me take my time, please dont rush me and force me to love someone. I want her to be as serious in the relationship as I am. I don't want to play around and stuff. I never did. And I want my next girlfriend to be the one. No more break-ups and stuff. I can't take it anymore. I don't want her fucking around with my heart like how some did. Its very hurtful. Neither do I want to break-up because of some stupid or pointless argument, or because I don't spend enough time with her or anything. These are the stupidest reasons ever. Oh and because of studies as well. You don't have to spend everyday with that person you love do you. I mean what the heck. I'll talk about this tomorrow, I'm very tired now and I've got school tomorrow.

Oh and thanks Mel for the company today. Damn fun I tell you! Awesome! Looking forward to talking to you again tomorrow! Then we can do the dance! =) Oh and when I see you, we can tell each other ghost stories, I won't forget! And thank you Rikhil and Nikkie for the company today as well! Awesome, fun, and scary time with you! HAHAHA! I LOVE YOU ALL!

Well then, I'll stop here for today! Goodnight and Take Care all of you! GOODBYE! =)

2008-05-23T00:09:00.008+08:00

HELLO!! It has definitely been a very very very very very long time since I even signed in. Even longer since I last blogged. So to reduce the deadness of my blog, I've decided to drop by and say HI! Because certain people, like Cheri Choo and Najwa Have been nagging at me for not blogging about many things. Nothing interesting happened today, and I've got to sleep soon. So I won't be typing much today! Probably tomorrow or Saturday maybe, when I have the time. Because after my exams, its just been going out and coming back late. So I honestly haven't been having the time to blog.

Well, I'm extremely happy that Manchester United has won the Champions League! Firstly because they are my all time favorite team, and secondly because I stayed up the whole time to watch the match and it would have been disappointing if they lost, cause I would have stayed up for nothing!

I am super happy that I've fixed my friendship with Cheri, Najwa, and Isfa! You three will always be kept in my heart! Your presence is so much more enjoyed and cherished compared to last time! Except for the time when I was with you, Cheri, which was obviously fucking awesome! You three rock my socks!

To the others out there like Nadirah, Hazel, Trisha, Janice, and whoever else I may not be able to recall now, I Love you all to bits!

To my babies Nikkie and Megan, I will never ever forget you, and obviously you would always be in my life!

To Zain, no matter how many time you busted me and abandon me and try your disappearing act on me, you know I still love you! You will most definitely not be replaced as a Best friend. As they all say, BFF!

To Rikhil, you're an asshole whom I love! Past experiences have definitely thought me many lessons, and obviously brought us closer than before! My friend who has 10 layers of curly hair!

To Illiana And Samantha Peh, I still see you two as my dearest 'sisters'! Times spent with you two will definitely not be forgotten. I still love you as much as I ever did!

To Nicole Tan, you are one person I'm always thinking about. Although we don't talk as much as before, you still are my Bestieboo! Nobody can replace you! Thank you for everything you've done for me, and all the times you've been there for me!

To my awesome classmate Scott Lange! You're one shit face who is fun to be around! Those fun times in class, one word, AWESOME! Looking forward to more of that, definitely!

To Alde! You're a really great and fun guy to hang out with! Take good care of my baby Nikkie! She is in good hands! I trust you!

To Joel, probably the best cousin I've had! Always had great fun with you! Look forward to hanging out with you more! You are a great person both as a friend and as a cousin! Rock on!

To Vanessa Tan, my late night message buddy! An awesome person with a awesome personality! Thanks for the company at night where both of us can't sleep! Looking forward to more of our late night messaging sessions yeah! Rock on you sexiness!

To my other friends whom have always been there for me, always given me fun, always loved me, and always cared for me like Damien, Boon, Daryl, Joshua, Amanda, Joan, and all my other lovelies, thank you for everything you've done for me! Never to be forgotten! I love all of you just as much as I ever did! Thank you for playing a part in my life! Because without you, I'd never be complete!

To my NEWest friends out there like Caroli, Henrietta, and Mel! You're all really awesome people! Hope to get to know you all better soon! Like I've always said, friendship is the best part of life!

To the Idiots clique! Chloe Sim, Louisa Quek, Nicole Tan, Rachel Wong, Samantha Peh, Illiana Peh, Cheri Choo, Zain Ghazali, Joel Conceicao, Nicholas Tan! I miss all the times we had and spent together! Hope to see and hang out with all of you soon! LOVES!

TO EVERYONE mentioned above, and everyone else whom I may have not mentioned, I REALLY REALLY LOVE ALL OF YOU AND MISS ALL OF YOU! Hope to have more fun times with you!

LOVE LOVE LOVE,
Christopher Richard Matthew Paul!

2008-04-10T22:12:00.000+08:00

Yeehoooo! Life is just getting better and better by the day!

I LOVE YOU BABES!

AWESOME!

2008-03-24T20:42:00.004+08:00

I Miss......

All the good times.....

2008-03-18T21:19:00.003+08:00

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile,
Cause you make it hard to breathe.
Why do you do this to me?

I'm alive, But I'm losing all my drive.
Cause everything we've been through,
And everything about you,
Seemed to be a lie.
A guiltless twisted lie.
I hate myself for letting it pass by.

In my eyes,
I'm screaming for a sight of you.
And tonight I'm dreaming,
Of all the things that we've been through
And I can't hold on to you,
So I guess I'll be lonely too.
But I'd rather be here with you.

And honestly, I've been asking for answers.
That you and only you can give to me.
A voice crying out, I've been crying for days now.
And as I start to run, I stop to breathe.

Stay with me,
You're the one I need.
You make the hardest things,
Seem easy.

I've failed as a son.
I've failed as a brother.
I've failed as a nephew.
I've failed as a cousin.
I've failed as a friend.
I've failed as a bestfriend.
I've failed as a student.
I've failed as a boyfriend.
I've failed as anything, everything.

What am I doing here?
I don't even know why I'm still here.
Life sucks.

What matters most? YOU.

2008-02-27T21:43:00.004+08:00

I Miss Love.
But Love Has Betrayed Me A Time Too Many.
Should I Trust Love Again? Or Should I Not?

When I love, people take advantage of it.
I am the one who always gets hurt in the end.

And my hands start to shake,
as my heart begins to beat faster.
I feel hopeless, useless, helpless.
Love, is my only hope.
Without love, I slowly die.
My heart begins to burst into a million pieces.

Will you put my imperfections aside,
and love me for what I'm good for?
Will you try and change me,
not for your sake, but for mine?
Will you be there for me through it all,
thick and thin, highs and lows?

Will you lend your shoulder for me to cry on?
Will you pick me up when I fall?
Will you carry me when I'm weak?

Emotional swings are not fun.
One moment I'm fucking high,
the next I want to cry.
One moment I'm laughing,
the next I'm dying.

Who will save me from this depression?
This emotional crisis?
This is, my daylight suicide.

2008-02-18T20:12:00.002+08:00

Well, hello there! As I said, I'll blog today! I shall go all the way back to last week, Wednesday, where the 'fun' began! But first, I'd like to praise myself for finally completing 1 full week of school, ever since it reopened this year, which is quite surprising.

So anyway, about Wednesday. Any other usual day, school, block 51 after. I made my way home earlier that day. Got home, rested for awhile, and waited for Zain. We then made our way to Changi at about 7. The walk to Reema's chalet was long, but worth it. It was huge, and she had gotten a DJ and a bartender as well. I don't know how much she spent altogether for it, but it must has cost a bomb. So slacked and talked. Music was awesome. I did not eat as I wasn't feeling hungry. I didn't drink as I had school the next day. But germaine and her friend, Dashnee, and her brother did drink, a little too much, I must say. We intented to leave at 10, but due to demands, we waited for Reema to cut her cake. After which we still took some time to leave as Germaine still wanted to drink. We took forever, adding to that, she was already half gone, which made it even longer. We walked out, and took a cab to the nearest number 2 bus stop. Dashnee's brother vommited on the bus, which obviously stank up the whole place. Luckily I got off first. Walked back from Tanah Merah. Got back at around 12am. Just in time for the curfew my Mum set for me that day.

Now, for Thursday, a usual school day again. Now after school, went to 51. Got some paper thingy with a heart. The quote was cute and funny, but I can't really remember it. It was something about wanting sex, obviously from Nadirah. And I also got this cute tube thingy from Trina, which was nicely decorated with shiny stuffs. I didn't realise there was my name in there too, till the next day. Thank you Trina! It was sweet, different, and unique! So then, I made my way home. Was supposed to go to Bras Basah, but it was late, so I cabbed down to Zain's house, for nothing, and we made our way to the library. Met Trisha, Janice, Trina, and Tanaz there! Slacked there for awhile, then Trina and Tanaz had to go home. So Trisha, Janice, Zain, and I made our way to Leisure Park, just next to the indoor stadium to have dinner. Ate at Pastamania. It was alright, but reminded me of someone, I shall not mention who. After dinner, we went to the suspension bridge. Sat there, talked, joked, and had fun! Thank you guys, for the company. Janice's mother picked Janice and Trisha up. Zain and I went to the bus stop to take 10, where we waited for 45 minutes just for the bus. Obviously we were agitated and pissed off. Because of that, we got home at around 11-12.

Friday, a usual school day again. School has been fun though, with the jokes and laughter. Okay well, school now finishes at 1 instead of the usual 1240, which is utterly pissing off! Nevermind about that. Cabbed home with Rikhil and Joel. Got home, showered, got ready, and left to go to 51. Met Leon and Choo. And some girl, everday ask me for sticks. Sorry I can't remember her name. Rather, I never asked her for her name, although she knows mine very well. Was supposed to meet Zain, but he never appeared. I got pissed off and went home. Managed to cantact Zain, and went to meet him. We keep arguing over being late, for some reason. Anyway, we went to Bras Basah, to buy my art stuff, and then to HMV to finally buy my Paramore album. Saw this freaking cute girl, and since we had nowehere to go, we went to Esplanade, and watched the Chingay parade. It was awesome! 3 guys dressed up as girls, disgusting. The F1 driving past, freaking cool! Certain performances were pointless, like the City Harvest one. Dances were nice, and interesting to watch. Some were cultural, some were good, most were Awesome! We then made our way back home. Reached home at about 12, yet again.

Saturday, woke up late, as it is the only day of the week where I can get extra sleep. Woke up, got ready, and went to church to meet Samantha and Joel. Then, met Illiana and Rachel. 7-11, as usual. Rachel is a forgetful bum. She asked me to keep her things for her, and forgot to take it back from me. Luckily I remembered, and chased after her. Was supposed to meet Zain, but he was playing dissappearing act, so I went home. Waited for his call, when I called Rikhil, Kavin, and Tracy, to follow Zain and I, to go to the esplanade. Esplanade was blocked everywhere, and yes, we went there to watch the Chingay, yet again. Met Trina and Tanaz for awhile, and for some reason, they were afraid of the Chingay? They left quite quickly. We left after it finished, and since it was blocked everywhere, we went for some ride, to kill time. It was damn cool, but too short for my liking, although I enjoyed it anyway. We then took 10 back. Walking back from the bus stop, Tracy, Rikhil, Kavin, and I started singing and moshing, and playing on the road, risking our lifes, but it was fun. We slacked at the pool for awhile, and went home after. I watched the ManU, Arsenal match, where ManU won 4-0! So awesome! I then went to sleep.

Got up late on Sunday, and had a stomach ache, as such, I did not serve mass. Had breakfast with daddy, then went to meet Damien and Boon. Afterwhich I met Joel and Crystal. Saw Nicole, I miss her so much! Attended mass, and went for luch with Joel, Damien, Daryl, and Michael after mass at KFC. Joel and I then met Zain, Nikkie, and Crystal at Macs. Zain went home, Joel, Nikkie and Crystal went to church, and I went home. Got ready for soccer and made my way to Bedok Inter to meet Joshua and the rest. Match was at Springfield Secondary. Played some middle aged man, but managed to keep a score of 3-1. Discovered my true difending skills. I had to play defender as they were short. Was not bad, actually. I beleive I played well as a defender, and everyone asked me to play as a defender again. Anyway, made my way home with Joel, had a shower, and had dinner. I then fell asleep, everywhere. At the computer, my godfathers bed, my couch, and my bed.

Today, I couldn't wake up. I thought I was dreaming when my parents were trying to get me up. Woke up at about 10, and cleaned up my room. At least I did something worthwhile. I then showered, got ready, and met Leon at 51. Was supposed to go out with Trisha, but she ditched me. But nevermind, not her fault I guess. So I made my way home, slacked and stuff. Had a wonderful chat with Vanessa Tan on MSN. I then made my way to my grandmothers place. Did my Social Studies and History work. At least I did something good today. Or rather, 2 things. My room, and work. Had dinner, met Nadirah and her sister for awhile, and here I am now, tired of typing. So That is all I have for now! I think my days have been quite interesting, and fun.

I never realised how much I miss my friends, as I haven't talked to them in a long time, till I start talking to them again. My TRUE FRIENDS, whom I feel I pushed aside for no reason! I miss Nicole Tan, Illiana Peh, Amelia Palmer, Vanessa Tan, Tracy Loh, Rikhil, Kavin, and Trina! I Love all of you very much. And to my other friends, I love all of you very much as well! Thank you for your company and help!

2008-02-17T21:45:00.001+08:00

Hello! It's been long since I last blogged out a proper post. I'll blog out one tomorrow, since now I'm ultra tired and it's very late! Like anyone reads my blog anyway. Till tomorrow, ciao!

2008-02-10T18:01:00.000+08:00

People need to know that when I say I Like/Love Them, I mean it!

People need to know that when I get into a relationship, I'm serious about it!

People need to know that when I get angry, it's for a good reason!

People need to know that when I scold someone I love, its because I care!

People need to know that when I say I tried, I really did try!

People need to know that I love them for who they are!

So don't tell me there are better people out there!

I'm getting more and more certain each day that I'm falling for you again!

2008-02-09T01:48:00.001+08:00

I Might Just Be Falling For You Again...

But This Time.... It's Stonger......

2008-01-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

People take advantage of me and think that I have no feelings because I fuck care about almost anything and am so easy going. Well, I have to say that it's been GETTING TOO MUCH and everyone must come to realise that I HAVE FEELINGS!

MOTHERFUCKERS!

this has been going on for too long

2008-01-28T00:04:00.001+08:00

I Love Trina Low
I Love Nadirah
I Love Trisha Hogan
I Love Hazel Tan
I Love Najwa
I Love Lu Xuan
I Love Zain Ghazali
I Love Joan Lim
I Love Amelia Palmer
I Love Samantha Peh
I Love Chloe Sim
I Love Nicole Tan
I Love Joel Conceicao
I Love Janice Chiang
I Love Jonathan Wan
I Love Nicolette Gomez
I Love Megan
I Love Hui Min
I Love Louisa Quek
I Love Rachel Wong
I Love Damien Chiang
I Love Basil Chang
I Love Daryl Lim
I Love Nicholas Tan
I Love Joshua Maniar
I Love Natasha Paul
I Love Illiana Peh

2008-01-26T00:00:00.000+08:00

Hello hello! This week has come and gone with the blink of an eye, but it hasn't been the best week, trust me. 'NO' school on Monday, and Tuesday. But Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I went to school. 3 days is the most amount of times I've been to school in a single week. This week has been one the the worst weeks for me this year, seriously. Although I had my dose of fun with friends and family, being alone can really bring you down. What did I do this week? Cry, Slit, Smoke, that's about it. Fun has been like just 25% of my whole week. The other 75%? Misery, hurt, pain, confusion. Sounds sucky to you? Well, let me just say, the days have been endless, and the nights, restless. School was alright, although I haven't been getting my usual 'In-Class' Naps. So obviously, I'm very tired. Let me just state a few things that have been going through my mind and that have been bringing me down this whole week.

Firstly, I have this very good friend. Well, I see her as my very good friend. So there is this other girl, better known as Cheri Choo, who is in her class this year. So this close friend of mine, has been getting closer and closer to this enemy of mine, which doesn't look alright in my eyes. I mean, it's like a worst nightmare come true. Everytime I see this good friend around, with Cheri, she pretends that she doesn't even know me. That sucks, doesn't it? I just can't see Cheri, sticking up to my friends, just because they are in the same class. I mean last year Cheri was like, she is a poser, a bitch, and stuff like that. Then this year she is like treating her so nicely. Such a hypocrital girl.

Secondly, as everyone should know, I love all my friends very very much. Well, people tell me I have a big heart, and I don't want to deny that. But honestly, people have been taking advantage of my love and trust in them, that now I don't even know who my true friends are. They bully me, and lie to me, and do all sorts of things just to fuck up my life. Is it that fun to love someone, and bitch about him behind his back? Well, that's what some people have been doing to me. Just imagine how it feels, to have someone you love so much, talking bad about you, behind your back. Hurtful isn't it.

Thirdly, I've not been going to school. Everyone knows that, I know that. I know it's not good. Well, school has become a total bore, seriously, and honestly, I've been here for too long. No laughing matter. I have got no motivation, no aim in life, I don't study hard enough. Do I even study? I don't see a point in carrying on sometimes. But I tell myself that there is no other choice if I want a good future. And I've been trying my very best to study harder this year. But right now, to me, life seems pointless. It's as though my life is a lie, my presence is an even bigger lie.

Lastly, do you know how it feels when you put all your heart and soul into loving that one special person, but only end up getting fired back at, and having others backs turned unto yourself. Getting hurt in the end. Being pushed to one side. I've put too much trust into love, and it's gotten me down. But I can't help it, because right now, Love is practically the only hope I have left in life. It sucks, to love someone, and be hurt by them in the end. Nobody would ever understand how I really feel right now.

2008-01-21T21:45:00.000+08:00

I'm not blaming you for anything. I fully understand your situation. I just don't want do lose you. Not as a friend, neither as someone who is more than just a friend. I really really love you. If only you knew how much. If I have to, I'll wait for you, no matter what happens, or how long it will take. But if you could give me a chance, that would be great. I know you have your commitments this year, and might not be able to commit so much in a relationship. Where studies are concerned, I understand that. I would do anything, just to have a chance with you. You may not think you are worty or anything like that, but in my eyes, you are. It doesn't mean that if you are in a relationship that you must meet everyday, or that you can't study. You can be in a relationship where you meet 2 or 3 times a week. I mean, look at Zain and Sheeka, they don't meet, but they talk. And it's lasted for so long. If you want we could even study together, I don't mind. At least I'll have a source of motivation in studying. I don't know if you understand what I mean, or what I want. I just want to you think about it and consider I guess? It's never too late. And like I said, I'll wait for you, no matter how long. People always say there are many fishes in the sea. But I just want one, You. I mean in my point of view, a relationship isn't an obstruction in studies unless you let it be. All I ask for is a chance. But I'll wait. You have made an impact in my life, yes you have. In such a short time, but you have. I'm happy when you are around. I don't know what else to say, but, I love you.

2008-01-21T08:44:00.000+08:00

This is the story of a girl, who touched my heart and became my whole world! Okay, well actually, I only really started talking to her on Friday. But since then, through Saturday and Sunday, I've learnt quite abit about her. And I never knew 2 people could become so close, so quickly. Well that's how I feel, at least. And I might just be falling for her, faster than I ever thought. She has been so nice, kind, and caring towards me. She is fun to talk to, and is very atttractive, to me that is. Very entertaining, and I can't stop thinking of her. Everything that goes through my mind id her, from the time I wake up, till the time I sleep. I know it may sound weird, but it's true, and I'm actually enjoying every second of it. And that's all I've got to say for now.

You Might Just Be The One, My Dear!

2008-01-14T21:12:00.000+08:00

Some People Laugh, Some People Cry
Some People Live, Some People Die
And Some People Run, Right into the Fire
And Some People Hide, Their Every Desire

But We Are The Lovers
If You Don’t Believe Me
Then Just Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Some People Fight, Some People Fall
Others Pretend, They Don’t Care At All
If You Wanna Fight, I’ll Stand Right Beside You
The Day That You Fall, I’ll Be Right Behind You

To Pick Up The Pieces
If You Don’t Believe Me
Just Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Woahhh x 2

Another Year Over, And Were Still Together
It’s Not Always Easy, But I’m here Forever
Yeah We Are The Lovers
I Know You Believe Me
When You Look Into My Eyes

Cause The Heart Never Lies
Cause The Heart Never Lies
Cause The Heart Never Lies

This Song Is Freaking Awesome!
By McFly, The Heart Never Lies!
Go listen, really good, I teared when I heard it!
My Sister, Natasha Paul, Is obsessed with
McFly & Dougie...

Well, I haven't been doing much these past few days, but slacking, emoing, feeling depressed and stressed, and slitting myself. But at least my friends are still around for me, aye! Love all of you! You all know who you are! Thank you so much for everything! I really really do appreciate it!
I LOVE YOU!

2008-01-10T12:53:00.000+08:00

I Miss Christmas, The Holidays, New Year, The Wedding Anniverssary, And Everyone Who Played Even The Littlest Parts Of Them! I Love All Of You! Here Are The Long Awaited Pictures That I Finally Got. Enjoy!

Hey. I'm back again. The same old boring me, I suppose. Well then, I have nothing much to blog about, I think. But I shall start from Sunday? Yeah. Sunday.... The usual, early morning wake ups to get ready for mass. Served and waited for 11:15 mass to end. Saw Joan, miss that girl. Then waited for Sam, Joel, Jude, and Damien, and we made our way to Parkway for lunch. Ate at Burger King, then left for home. They all followed except for Damien. So got everything ready, as there was a gathering at my place and stuff. Sam and Jude couldn't stay for long and left at around 6+. But before that when Chloe came, we were dancing and stuff. IT was fucking awesome. Those people really know how to have fun and how to make me laugh. Memories of my Grandaunt's wedding anniverssry which was on Friday night. Where all the cousins were dancing. Awesome! Well, back to Sunday. Damien, Basil, Daryl, Amanda, Lopez, Pris, and Najwa came over. And oh yes, Vanessa's friend Tracy. Then all of us played a beautiful long game of Uno! And slowly everyone left as there was school the next day. Was awesome, really! Thanks guys for coming over aye!

Missed school on Monday and Tuesday. Went to parkway on Monday with Hazel, Najwa, Nadirah, Trisha, and Janice. Ate at Burger King. Watched High School Musical. And Bus-ed home with Najwa and Nadirah. The whole day was nonsensical and hilarious! Tuesday met Najwa, Nadirah, and Trisha. Went to parkway and ate at Burger King yet again. Then walked around and went to the Library. Certain things happened but I shan't mention what. But you guys, you mean the world to me, and that's why I was like that. Love you all! Wednesday to school, and went home straight away after that as nobody was around. Slacked at home, played game, did my clothes and stuff, and that was about it. Talk to my sister and Najwa on the phone at night as they were at camp. I miss you all very very much!And today, missed school again. My throat fucking sucks. But nevermind, at least I have time to blog, and finally post some pictures!

I Miss The old times. The holidays, the chalet, and of course my second yesr of Sec 3. You all played and play a big part in my life! I miss you all! Thank you so much for everything!

2008-01-02T19:30:00.000+08:00

School today was a bummer. I was actually positive about school today. But many things spoilt my mood, both inside, and outside of school. The teachers were more or less being bitches, except for Brother Nick. Friends were the bomb though. Feels really different without Zain around in school anymore. Was fucking tired today. I guess I'm not used to getting up early and stuff like that. I'm waking up now at the time that I used to go to sleep. And at the time I finish school, I'd still be sleeping. Everything feels so different. After school, went to 51, as usual, to meet Chitra, Angel, Jonathan, and Zain. Saw Hazel, Nadirah, and Trisha. Then met Nikkie, and Megan. Angel went home, and the rest of us went to Parkway. Saw Janice on the bus. I was seeing the whole world today.

So at Parkway, the first person I heard calling my name, was Keiran. I had a shock. He's super cute. Saw Joel and his friends. So went into Macs, and saw Cheri and Adam and all, and that totally fucking spoilt my mood even more. Adding to that, I was really tired. So y ou should know how grumpy I was after that. Pok Pok Pok, Peter Pok. Hahaha! Fucking Lame. Okay anyway, we walked around, and somehow kept bumping into Cheri all. Re-tar-ted! Was fucking bored, and went back to Macs to slack. We all left soon after. Took 31 so I could sleep on the bus and top up my card.

So overall, today was alright. Although it was a total bummer. With all this nonsense on my mind. I feel scared, though I don't know why, or about what. It's sp fucked up. I feel so emo today, and it's so damn bloody fucked up. People keep things from me, I'm always the last to know. You think it's funny? Wait till I do it to you! Damn this feeling sucks. The people who have been there for me and cheering me up lately, who have been there all the time, are Nicole Tan, Nicole Anne, Chloe Sim, Joan Lim, and Amelia Palmer. Thank you babes, I love you all!

Sorry Zain, ever since that day, I feel so apart from you. Firstly, you don't call me so much anymore. Secondly I can't really meet you. It sucks. I know it sounds fucking gay right, Zain is just my bestfriend. I'm straight. But it still sucks anyway! I miss you, I miss everyone, I miss everything I ever had! Everything seems to be crashing down all around me now. Days go by, but my nights are endless. I can't stop listening to Emo and Hardcore songs. I always feel like crying. I'm smoking more. It sucks! FUCK! I never realised how fucked I was, till now.

Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind, where worries are washed out to sea.

See the changes, people's faces blurred out, like the sun spots or raindrops.

Now all those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time,

but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind.

Left the only worries I had in my hands, away from the light in my eyes.

Holding tight and try not to hide how I feel, 'cause feelings mean nothing now.

All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time,

but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind

Now I can't care to worry, I'm feeling so lonely, breaking apart all this love in my heart.

Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind, where feelings mean nothing now.

All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time,

but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind,

for today is on my mind,

yeah today is on my mind,

Now I can't care to worry.

I'm feeling so lonely,

Breaking apart all this love in my heart

2007-12-31T03:23:00.000+08:00

Hello! People don't get it aye! This Christmas has been a rather weird one. With all those different feelings and emotions. It aint all the same as before. Firsty the 26th to 29th got fucked up by one of my 'friends' dad. I shall not state who, or why. Then, I can't be that close to my bestfriend, Zain, which reasons shall not be stated here. He is not allowed into my house. Following that, people are asking me stupid questions like who I like now and stuff like that, and it is getting rather irritating, I must say. I mean, even if I do like someone, if I don't want to say then stop pestering me can, like, please? Must I get down on my knees and beg? Is it that important for you to know everything? Dammit! Then, people are saying sorry to me, for things I told them not to do a long time ago, but they did it anyway, and now they are pleading for forgiveness. Yeah, forgive and forget. Bloody assholes! Everyone has been being a Bitch lately. Fucked up life. A certain someone said that Love Is A Fucktard? No, no, you got it wrong. Love is quite awesome, if you know how to love. But life, even if you know how to live, is always a fucktard. So always be prepared for the worse. Life for me oficially sucks, except for the part where my family and friends are concerned. Because no matter where you go or what you do, there are always fuckers. Fuckers who Fuck your Fucking life up, because they don't give a Fucking Fuck about how you Fucking feel! Dammit, Fucking Fuckers! But the one thing i know, and always need to know, is that I still have my friends. I'm too lazy to state who, because I have quite a long list. But you all should know who you are! I love all of you!

2007-12-28T03:47:00.000+08:00

Hello! Sorry I haven't been blogging lately. Been real busy and caught up with family and many other things. I will blog about everything I haven't blogged about when I am free. But there is one thing, this one friend I made not too long ago. Nicole Anne Chia. She is a real awesome person I tell you. She lends a good listening ear, and I can tell her almost anything. How I feel and stuff like that. She has never failed to make me smile ever since. Thank you so much for everything. Whatever I have told you, you should know why I'm saying this now, I Love You! Thank you! Hope you are reading this aye! Anyway, to everyone else, I Love You Too! Thank you for everything too! Well, now you gotta wait to hear all them interesting stories. Till next time, ciao!

2007-12-13T23:22:00.000+08:00

Hello! Okay, I'm really tired now, but I'm doing this for all the people mentioned here because they are what have made my every second of life a brighter and happier place.

So this all started on Monday, when Zain and I met Rikhil and Kavin. We played Uno in the ladies sauna till about 5am. So Zain stayed over at my place. It was super fun and hilarious. At least I managed to spend some quality time with my bestfriend. Talk about stuff, about feelings. Alot of feelings were expressed that night, and alot of advice. Everything that had always been troubling me had been shared with someone else and that really lightened the load on my chest.

On Tuesday, I went to meet Nadirah, Trisha, and Hazel at the Parkway bus-stop, we waited for Zain, and made our way to Macs to meet Jonathan and Nikkey. We faced a few problems from the time we met, but everything was alright after we talked things out. We went to Giant to see what to buy for the Chalet, played and slacked around, then I made my way to church to practice for midnight mass. Practice was ultra fucked up, and I was quite pissed and bad-tempered after that. Well, met Zain and the rest again at Parkway, and we slacked there till about 11. Then we made our way to my place, excluding Nikkey. I shall not mention what happened here. We slacked at my place, in my room. Everyone slept around 5 or 6. I stayed up for awhile more and slept around 7. Woke up at 9 to go and meet Nikkey. Went to buy the stingray for our Chalet. The rest went to Jonathan's house, and Zain went home. Came back to my grandmothers place to do the stingray, and left to meet Zain at the Chalet.

So there was Nikkey, Zain, and I at first. We got some stuff ready, and Zain went to collect the rest of the things from his mother. Nikkey and I went out to get Chloe and Min, and when we got back Zain, Jon, Nadirah, Trisha, Hazel, Janice, Sam, and Joel were waiting for us to open the door. So I started to get the fire ready. My fire was awesome and hot, just like me. Okay then everyone else came, Megan, Isfa, Fiq, Damien, Basil, Daryl, Boon. So I made the fire and the food, while everyone else was slacking, so bad right? But nevermind, I did it willingly. So at around 1030, we opened drinks. Jonathan and Min got drunk first. Some people left. All those who stayed over like Zain, Jon, Jen, Boon, Basil, Rikhil, Kavin, Joel, Janice, Hazel, Trisha, Nadirah, Nikkey, Sam, and I got drunk or high except for Basil, Rikhil, Kavin, Janice, and Sam. So the chalet became a warzone. But it was fun too. Trisha, Hazel, Nadirah, Jonathan, Nikkey, and I cried, of course at different times, but I think mine was the worst. I was shouting " everyone is so bastard to me " and " what did I do wrong " and " cheri is a bitch, why did she leave me " and " all of my girlfriends I love so much always bastard me, what did I do " So yeah, you should be able to tell how emotional I became. But everyone was there for me and hey, thank you all those who stayed over for everything! So we went to sleep and yupp.

Woke up, slacked and talked and cleared up, then left to go to Macs, afterwhich we went to my place again. Those at my place were Nikkey, Nadirah, Hazel, Trisha, Rikhil, Kavin, Jen, and I. We slacked downstairs and visited the playgrounds, then at around 630, everyone left. Jen and I went to have dinner, and then went back to my place. We played XBox for awhile, and Jen left. And that was the end of everything.

I almost cried when Nikkey, Nadirah, Hazel, and Trisha left. Because of the time we had been spending together, it had really brought me closer to them, by alot! I need to thank Zain, Jonathan, Basil, Boon, Joel, Rikhil, Kavin, Janice, Nadirah, Hazel, Trisha, Nikkey, Sam for comforting me when I was crying. Especially Zain, my bestfriend, Boon, who brought me out to talk, Joel, my best cousin, and Sam my best "sister". Everyone else's efforts to cheer me up were appreciated, and I really don't want to loose any of you, so please. don't go.

I LOVE YOU ALL!

2007-12-08T01:24:00.000+08:00

And this one, is to Cheri. And this is what she said...

I know what I've done to you before is very VERY hurting.& I know no matter how many sorrys I say or however sincere the apology is, you won't be able to forgive me.Sorry Chris. I truely am sorry from the bottom of my heart.I cannot force you to forgive but please don't hate illi.She did nothing wrong.Whatever she has done before, leave it as the past.She has changed. You said you see it already.So I don't understand why you still hate her.Its me who hurt you before. Please don't hate her.But I don't get the part when you said we steal other people's friends.We didn't.Isfa just messaged me one day and we decided to conference and meet.Is that wrong?& I wasn't sucking up. Why is calling someone cute sucking up when its true?If you thought it was sucking up before,then why didn't you tell me when you still loved me?Isfa knows I disliked her before.It was only because I got jealous.& I don't hate every new friend you make.K, I admit I was protective and possesive before.I was just afraid.Oh and what did we say on our blogs?We've stopped bitching already.We've stopped vulgarities and stuff.You said you see a change in illi but on your blog,"I don't think that there is any change in the both of you."Idk, I don't understand anything at all.

My reply....

YES, you finally realise how much you hurt me? After all this time, only after everything that I said, then you realise? Why do I hate Illiana? Because she is always on your side, and does not speak for what she feels, but for what her 'FRIEND' feels. And you were not a suck up before. You are now though. Before you like Bitched about Isfa right? And said things about Niven. Then now you are like... "He/She is so cute! I love you!" What is that? If that isn't sucking up, then I don't know what is. And, I did see a change in Illiana then. But after reading your blogs and all, I totally had a change of mind. I wouldn't know if you all stopped bitching or anything because you don't bitch to me. So how would I know if you are telling the truth or not? I can't trust you anymore, because of what happened between us? So how are YOU going to fix this? It's your choice really. But I tell you one thing, I don't want to have anything to do with Fraser. sorry to say but, I hate him! He say we want to beat up younger people all, then what about himself? He wanted to beat Jonathan what. Isn't Jon younger than him? Think about that. He is one guy who must ALWAYS get his way, because he thinks he is damn bloody big. That's all, bye bye.

2007-12-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

Okay, so this is to Illiana Peh! Okay, so all you other people would understand, this is what she said.

I hope you'll read this. Really. Sorry. I know you still hate me. I can't do anything. You think that we stole your friends? We didn't. We knew Isfa through Adam, we knew Adam through Peter. And i knew Peter from Cheri. Cheri knew Peter from Shaun. We didn't steal your friends. We knew Niven through Peter. Is it impossible to be friends with everyone? We didn't suck up to Isfa either. & I thought you were ok with me alrd. Were you lying that day? Do you hate me agn cos we went out with Isfa? Idk. If you think we are poseurs from hell because we also name out clique Family/Family Wamily,it isn't true. We didn't pose you all. The family thing came out when one night we were talking to Adam & Niven. When we were abt to hang up, Cheri said 'Good morning Chloe' Adam heard it as Good morning Family. So when we all hung up, Adam's msg to us started with 'Good morning Family!' And that's how the Family thing started. Wamily was made by Cheri. 'Illi talks behind people's back, and when they find out, she gets angry. She doesn't sppreciate or love anyone unless they give her money or get her something that she wants.' That is really not true. I have stopped talking behind people's back alrd. And i don't get angry so easily now. I am controlling my temper these days. I do appreciate and love people even if they don't give me money or what i want. I really do. Thanks for giving us a chance, I don't know in what way I have offended you, that you hate me now again. Cos I hardly talk to you. I hope 'So Illiana, when i see you on Sunday, I hope you are a changed person. And Cheri, if I do see you anytime soon, i want to see that Changed person. If not, it's over!' means that we get another chance. The next time i see you on Sunday, I'm wondering if i could still receive a hug from you. If I could, I'd be happy. But if I can't, then its ok. Cos its not my choice to force you to forgive me. Oh oh, please tell me what I did to offend you. I hope whatever you read above has cleared the misunderstandings for the us stealing your friends thing. [if that's what you're angry abt] Umm, anw, I really hope you'll forgive us. Or at least, don't post anything that isn't true abt us on your blog anymore? You can either, tell me how you feel by msn, or you can text me. Or, if you don't feel like, don't reply to this at all. Just read it and I hope you'll consider. If we're given a chance to go out tgt agn, you'll see that we've really changed. Or if you want to, you can continue reading our blogs? idk, up to you.

My reply...

Okay, you say you've changed. And yes, I wouldn't know because I don't go out with you. The poser thing? I mean like, you all just meet one day and form some sort of family? What's that? I LOVE YOU FAMILY WAMILY! Okay, so on a serious note, let's put that one side for now. I wouldn't know if you still talk behind people's back or not, because it's talking behind people's back, and no one would know unless somebody says that ou said something right? So how can you prove that you don't, talk behind people's backs? Now, about the money thing... You just blogged the other day about somebody giving you money or something and you were like 'I LOVE YOU'! How else would you want someone to think when you only say it if somebody gives you something? So how are YOU going to prove that you appreciate the ones around you who love you? The friend-stealer thing is more of Cheri than of you. So that I will leave on my reply to Cheri! Well, that's all I have to say for now, I hope you change. And yes, it is a final chance, if you still want to be friends.

2007-12-07T02:48:00.000+08:00

Hello hello! Today was awesome! Woke up late, as usual. Got ready and went to my grandmother's house for awhile. Waited for Nikkie Darling and took MRT to city hall to meet Zain, Jon, Isfa, and Charmaine! Had dinner at Macs, then to our glorious dead! Slacked there for quite sometime, joked as usual. Then made our way to The Esplanade. Slacked there, smoked, gayed. Then Isfa, Charmaine, and Jon left. Nikkie, Zain, and I took a walk to the Merlion. There, we disturbed these Malaysian kids who were there for maybe some tour or something? Cause it was like 4 busses full of them. Pretended to sneeze, to tried to dodge of course. Blocked them from taking pictures and stuff. It was damn funny. Then we took a walk in the underpass to the Fullerton. There we played with the fishes and fed them nonsense. A whole lot of fun doing stupid things like these, can you only experience with people like us. Then we made our way home. Although we did not do much, and did not go out to so many places, it was a day filled with much fun, as always. Thanks you guys for today!

Isfa, don't be so stupid like you know who to go out with Cheri and Illi! They are friend stealers and are stealing our friends away because they have none, after what Cheri did to me. I think even before that, people like Jon and even my sisters hated Cheri. It was only because she was my girlfriend then that they did not say anything. So don't make the wrong move girl. Cheri is sucking up to you. She calls whoever she wants to be friends with cute and stuff. What a suck up. She hated you before that, because I made a new friend, which was you and was not happy about it. Everytime I made a new friend, she would assume that I liked them and hated them for that. Then now, cause we aint together anymore, she is sucking up to all of them. Like Tracy, Hui Min, YOU! So think first. Trust me, you don't want to get yourself involved with such a Bitch. She doesn't appreciate her friends, or the love they give her. She takes advantage of it. Illi talks behind peoples back, and when they find out, she gets angry. She doesn't sppreciate or love anyone unless they give her money or get her something that she wants. So don't associate yourself with such loser-ish people please! Don't degrade yourself, don't spoil your reputation. What fucking gay shit is Family Wamily! My god. Posers from hell, and they come up with such a name.

Illiana Peh, and Cheri Choo! If you are reading this, yes I HATE YOU! You want to know why? Because of everything that you all have ever did. Like bitch, and steal friends, and don't appreciate the love that people give you, which is the worst thing anyone could ever do! You two said that you would change, but after reading your blogs, I don't think that there is any change in the both of you. Your time is up, your chance is gone! So too bad. Whatever we had, has been forgotten. You two would probably be erased from my mind soon. So Illiana, when I see you on Sunday, I hope you are a changed person. And Cheri, if I do see you anytime soon, I want to see that Changed person. If not, it's over!

Bitches Parade...

2007-12-05T23:53:00.000+08:00

Hello! I hope you all read the previous posts and wished or prayed for something! If you haven't, please do so! So anyway, slept at 5am this morning, so as a result, I obviously woke up late! The rain felt so good! Perfect weather to sleep in. Zain and Jon came to my house today. We slacked and watched Friends. Then went for dinner, and to skate. Well, Jon and I, that is. Zain went to Rikhil's house to watch Friends and My Wife And Kids. Skate skate skate. Jon and I were betting on who can do some certain trick first. He now owes me 2 treats! AWESOME! Skating again tomorrow. Maybe teaching Zain! It's quite funny, imagine Zain skating. Later he better than Jon and I! Okay so anyway, went home to shower and met Zain at Rikhil's place. Watched for awhile, laughed, slacked and then left. That was my day. Okay, since I have no space on MSN to do this, I shall do it all here alright? This is for all of you, and for the times we have had together, and also the experinces, both good and bad, that have come along our way, to only make our friendship stronger and stronger each day!

I Love Zain
I Love Jonathan
I Love Nicolette
I Love Megan
I Love Trisha
I Love Hazel
I Love Nadirah
I Love Najwa
I Love Janice
I Love Shalyn
I Love Vanessa
I Love Chloe
I Love Samantha
I Love Nicole
I Love Louisa
I Love Isfa
I Love Joan
I Love Hui Min

I Love Tracy

I Love Serene
I Love Jolyn
I Love Daryl
I Love Basil
I Love Boon
I Love Damien
I Love Rikhil
I Love Kavin
I Love Amanda
I Love Amelia
I Love Rachel

YES! I love the times that we have had together! Hope to see you all soon again!

I Hope I Haven't Left Anybody Out! Once Again, If You Think I Forgot About You, Tell ME!

I love all my friends, yes I do! To all of them listed over there! Thank you so much for everything! I appreciate everything you all have ever done for me, and I never want to lose you all! No matter whatever we have been through, I hope that it has built and made our friendship stonger so that it may be lasting! I have lost many friends, and I don't wanna lose no more! I love you all, especially my wonderful family. All the sex and family gatherings have been the most awesome times that I've ever had these holidays. I hope that this would continue, even when school starts again. I will always be here for each and every one of you, like how all of you have been here for me. I'll never leave your side, because you never did! The amount of love that I have in you all cannot be explained. Christmas is coming, and it's a time for giving, not receiving. Sorry if I don't get everyone of you something. I hope that my love and my presence is the best gift any one of you can get from me. I hope that we will continue on this friendship. Thank you everyone for everything. You all are always in my heart! I LOVE YOU!

WE NEVER CLOSE

2007-12-05T04:13:00.000+08:00

Okay hello! Hope you have read my previous post. If you haven't then please do. It may not seem important to you but it is to me. So anyway, now about my past few days and experiences along the way.

Saturday
I can't really remember much so mind me. Well, met Chloe Sim at around 1+ to go to Parkway to meet Zain, Jon, and Hui Min. Ate at Long John's Silver adn walked around and stuff. Went to Plaza Sing for a little bit. Had a fun time with Min and Chloe. Zain, Jon, and I then left to go meet Nikkie. We then went to Kaye's house for her birthday party. And I just realised how close by her house is to mine. Adam, Fiq, Kelly, Shauna, Isfa, and Niven came soon after. Ate and played around. Nikkie, Jon, Zain, and I had our little adventure at night around the streets. Shall not elaborate on that. Nikkie stayed over at my house as it was 4am and everyone wanted to go home and she did not have her keys. Managed to spend some quality time with my dearest daughter Nikkie. Don't worry Megan, you are still not forgotten, and never will be.

Sunday
Woke up early, but was late in the end anyway. Nikkie, Damien, and I took cab down to church. Nikkie left from there and Damien and I went to serve mass. Boon served too, after a very long time. Boon, Joshua, Damien, and I then left for Parkway. Had breakfast at the Hawker centre and went to play pool after. It really brought back memories of how close we were before. All the laughs, it was really enjoyable. Hope to have another time like that soon again. I then left for church to meet Samantha Peh! We slacked for awhile and went to meet Nikkie, Hazel, Trisha, Nadirah, Janice, and Boon, and waited for Zain. Had a wonderful drive to Lim Chu Kang. Slacked and made our way back after. It was a really enjoyable day for me.

Monday
Was at home the whole day. Zain and Jon came over my house. We cleared up the place and helped my mum to put up the christmas tree. We slacked, played, and enjoyed. In the evening we went to Bedok Court Swimming Pool to meet Shaun, Rikhil, and Tracy. Slacked on the 15th floor and did stupid things like throwing down the fireman's hose. It was stupid but fun. The time there was fun overall. Everyone left, Zain and I sent Jonathan to the bus stop, and cycled around Kew. Up and down hills, and losing our way. Really good quality time for the Best Friends. Went to Rikhils house after that and watched My Wife And Kids. Zain and I then left for my place. And obviously he stayed over at my house for the night.

Tuesday
Zain left in the early afternoon for home. I slacked and then got ready to go out. Met Zain at his house and left for the Esplanade to meet Nikkie and Megan. We then slacked at the Rooftop Garden and waited for Jonathan, Shaun, Jerome, Hazel, and Trisha. We slacked and played around as usual. Took a walk back to city hall MRT and met Fiq, Isfa, Yan, and Charmaine(i think). We slacked and took EC. Memories of the past made me want to control myself so I told Zain not to give me. Everyone was crazy. Isfa was the craziest at first. But when everyone cooled down, Nikkie was the craziest of all. She wouldn't stop making fun of Jonathan. Megan, Nikkie, Isfa, Jon, Zain, and I then left to eat at Makan Sutra. My favorite fishball noodles. Megan and Isfa left earlier. Zain, Jon, Nikkie, and I left after finishing up our food. We then went our seperate ways back home. Overall, these past few days have been the most awesome spending time with my 'family' and friends.

Zain - Husband
Nikkie - Daughter
Megan - Daughter
Jonathan - Grand Son
Trisha - Grand Daughter In-Law
Hazel - Great Grand Daughter

2007-12-04T23:20:00.000+08:00

Hello! Okay, so I hope that I did not forget anybody, I take it as i didn't! Well then, this is for a friend, I hope you all have a heart and say a little prayer for her. She is going through a difficult time with her family and she isn't having the time of her life. What's hidden behind her smile is anguish, hate, hurt, and many more other feelings that shall not be mentioned for the time being. Her father has been found to be having an affair with someone else, and her parents at home, well, they are not being their usual selves, and according to her, they are on the verge of divorcing. Her parents have never actually treated her the way that parents should treat their children and this is all adding to everything she has been keeping inside. But whatever it is, I hope you all still pray for her, although her name is not mentioned. I wish that broken families would learn to love and appreciate each other for who they are. Something you could do is say something you would want me to tell this certain person, to get her to know that even if you don't know her, she knows that there are people who care. So please.

2007-11-30T15:56:00.000+08:00

Well, hello there! It's been quite some since I've blogged. Alot has been on my mind lately. Happy thoughts, sad thoughts, stressful thoughts. Almost any thought you can think of, it has run through my mind at least once. Everything is piling up, but all my friends have been helping to lighten my load.

But first, I shall start with camp. Woke up late to go for camp, but not too late. Damien, Basil, and I took cab to church. All the younglings were already there. Daryl followed me to go buy some stuff for camp. Came back, smoked with Basil and left for St. Theresa's church. The church was awesome. Damien and I collected the keys, and assembled everyone at the foyer. Gave out the house rules, and brought everyone up. The whole day was full of games, fun for the kids. I left for awhile to meet Zain to collect our pay. Slacked for awhile and went back to camp. More games for them, Spider web was funny, Mine Fields was fun. Played soccer after that. The young boys a really good! Showered, and dinner. Then we had the rosary, the only prayer time throughout the whole day. Seniors played more soccer. Slept at 3++.

The second day was more dry for them. I went for Brother Colin's talk for awhile, then I went to rest as I was really really tired. Came back, and Brother started saying things about me. Revealing I was a smoker and all, but in a jokeful way. Well, I was fine with it, all in the fun of it anyway. After that I went to meet Zain, Hazel, Trisha, And Jonathan. We went to the Zoo, for free. Was really fun, thank you guys. But I know I missed out on alot more fun cause I had to leave early. Got back, changed and stuff, then played soccer with the boys again. Showered and had dinner. Then we had Rosary walk, after which Holy Hour and Recon. Supper after that and that was the day. Was really tired after the whole day. We still had meeting. Had a little argument but I shall not talk about it.

Third day was mass, where the boys were asses, then breatfast, then they had area cleaning. Left back for church around 12. The whole camp overall was fun, although we had to control and scold the boys alot. Went to meet Shalyn after that for awhile, then met Sam, Joel, Jude, and James for awhile, and left for home. Fell asleep on the 14 all the way till Bedok Inter. Took 229 back. Rested for awhile and left for my grandmothers house. Then left for church. Zain was supposed to meet me after mass but he didn't, so I went home. Fell asleep early.

That's it for camp, yes it was fun, and I met alot of new people. Younger than me, but still fun anyway. The boys better learn how to serve properly soon. I can't wait for the day where we can all relax and not have to serve so much. It will be so great, being able to attend mass once in awhile instead of serving all the time. Oh yes, one last thing, I feel that Greg was a total pig during camp. Sleeping from day to night, might as well stay at home. We were as tired as he was. Talking about commitment, what about yourself?

So anyway, this is a totally different matter. Why are you asking me to let bygones be bygones? Because you know you have hurt me? Hurt me like hell? You want me to just forget eveything you have done to me and just be friends like that? Forget it, you may be like that, but I'm difenitely not. You think it's very easy right? After all that I've been through, it's not. You always say I always only think about myself, what about you? Think before you say anything please. Tell other people to think before they say anything, then why don't you do the same too? So much for saying you broke up with Fraser because he bacame some gangster guy, beat up people and all. He still does that what, so why are you back with him? Why do you love him? Everything you have ever told me doesn't make any sense. You Put yourself in a pool of lies, and you aint getting out. You say you have changed, well it sure doesn't seem like it. You still seem like the old bitch I've knwon you to be for the last 3 or 4 months. Not the old Cheri I knew when I met you.

Now, I need to thank all these people, for always being there for me!
-Zain Ghazali
-Jonathan Wan
-Nicolette Gomez
-Megan
-Janice Chiang
-Shalyn
-Najwa
-Hazel
-Trisha
-Nadirah
-Rikhil
-Kavin
-Tracy
-Hui Min
-Chloe Sim
-Joan Lim
-Samantha Peh
-Nicole Tan
-Louisa Quek
-Vanessa Tan
-Isfa
-Damien Chiang
-Nicholas Tan
-Daryl Lim
-Basil Chang
-Amanda Chen
-Joel Conceicao
-Jude
-James Kwa
-Joshua Maniar
-Michael Chow
-Serene Sim
And those whom I've missed out, let me know!

And all the new friends I've made.
-Janice
-Najwa
-Hazel
-Trisha
-Nadirah
-Isfa
-Shalyn
-Vanessa Tan
-Kelly
-Adam
-Niven
-Mira
-Farrah
-Julia
-Kaye
-Chloe Koh
-Debi
And if I forgot you, let me know.

Thank you all for everything! Lotsa love!

2007-11-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

Times have been great, well better than before at least. 'Don't let hatred take control of you, it will turn you into a very bad person'! Well, people are changing. Everyone has been realising their bad points and changng them to good. For example Cheri and Illiana. I'm trying to change too!

Everything has been going well, but to tell you the truth, I actualy still miss HER very much. But I've moved on, and so has she. I will need to thank Zain, Jonathan, Nicolette, Megan, Najwa, Janice, Hazel, Nadirah, Trisha, Shalyn, Vanessa, Hui Min, Tracy, Rikhil, Kavin, Nicole, Louisa, Chloe, Samantha, Boon, Damien, and many others who I may not have stated here. Thank you for the company, the fun times, and for always being there to cheer me up and make me happy, even though you may not know what the problem may be.

Thank you darlings for the fun at the chalet. Thank you for the theme park, and the night at the beach. Thank you for the work, Zain. Everything has been keeping me occupied and it's all thanks to you guys. I love you all loads!

Well, right now, I'm stuck in the middle, only Zain knows. Don't bother asking him or me, cause we aint gonna tell you what it is about. It's personal and it's only between me and him. That's all for now! Till next time!

"You will only feel hurt, if you allow yourself to feel hurt"

2007-11-04T01:26:00.000+08:00

Well, now that It's over, there isn't much more to be said. Let's just move on and forget. But memories will be memories, and they will always remain in my heart. People change, and you have changed. We may not be together anymore, but I hope that you would still become the Cheri, who you used to be. I was most serious about our relationship, but now I know that however much I may have tried these past 9 months, it never seemed to be able to please you and make you happy. Well, I know that at least I have done my best. I'm moving on now, and I know that whatever relationship I may get into after this, at least I have gained experience in ours. Even though we may not be together anymore, I am still concerned and still care about you, no matter what other people may say. I hope you will be happy with whatever experiences you may encounter. But I just want you to know, that I hope you do not go the wrong path. As a friend, I'm concerned about the people you are hanging out with now, because I know some of them have done drugs. I hope you don't get influenced and go the right path. I want you to be yourself, and love yourself for who you are. Study hard next year, and till the next time I speak to you, I love you.

2007-10-26T22:21:00.000+08:00

Hello hello! It's been long since I last blogged. Very Very Long! Well, Cheri insists that I should blog, and so I shall. Well, I could not sleep last night and as a result woke up late today. I did not shower, just washed my face and brushed my teeth as I did not want to be late on the last day of school. I finished at 930 anyway.

So well, school was alright! Was at the DM's office cause of the KC, "EC" thing. I just got a warning, and my parents will be called. Well, I guess I got to "Face The Music"? Even though I've never taken EC with those people before. Don't know who is the one who went to say my name, but we will see who gets the last laugh yeah? Went back to class and got back my results. I passed! Finally going to Sec4! Those 3 years in Sec3 have finally paid off! Awesome!

Went home after school, had a bath, changed and left to meet Cheri! She wasn't feeling really good. Cause she might be retaining. But darling, don't despair, just pesevere! Words from my Sec2 form teacher! You will and can make it okay? Trust me! Just put in effort okay? Like how I must next year for my N's! We can do it together! Well then, went to Parkway after that, to KFC. Waited for Zain, and Slacked. Cheri ate, Zain left, Jonathan came with the other people. Slacked and slacked and slept.

Then went to pierce my lips. Cheri kept insisting that I did it so I did it. Anyway, I've been waiting for like forever. Haha! I think it was like taking a drug or something man! Cause after that I was fucking high. I couldn't walk straight and my vision was all blurry! Anyway, sent Cheri home after that, and slacked with Jonathan at the shelter where we saw this boy bully some smaller kids in soccer. He was damn evil! We left to go to Parkway, to ask the aunty if I could still smoke after the piercing! Haha! Then left to meet Rikhil at 7-11, block 51 there. Saw Sophia with Lu Xuan. Talked to them for awhile and left.

Met Rikhil and walked to the 10, 14, 12 bus stop to take bus back. Got back and had dinner, then went out to meet Rikhil. We slacked then came Tracy and SherMay. Slacked and joked, then left to go to 7-11. After that came back home. Talking to Cheri online now. Yupp, thats all for now, till next time, CIAO! =)

Cheer up baby! I love you! And Darling, you have not failed as my girlfriend! ILY!

2007-10-08T20:08:00.000+08:00

Have I failed as your boyfriend?
Have I done every single thing wrong?
Have I been the worst you can ever have?
Have I made you feel unloved instead of loved?
Have I made you feel like everything in the world is nothing?
OR
Have I passed as your boyfriend?
Have I done almost everything right?
Have I been the best you can ever have?
Have I made you feel loved instead of unloved?
Have I made you feel like everything in the world is me?

You know I love you,
Yes, you know I do.
I don't know how much I have done wrong,
Neither do I know what I've done to deserve this.
The day was so great,
And it was spoiled just by that moment.
What have I done to deserve this?
I've learnt to be more understanding,
Can't you do the same?
I changed so that I could get you back,
Can't you change for me too?
I love you so much,
And I never want to lose you.
It's so hard to do this all alone.
I kept going this year because of you.
If not I'd probably have left school.
I don't know what else to say,
Except for that I Really Love You

Maybe I Aint Good Enough For You...

2007-10-07T16:08:00.000+08:00

Cheri drew this... So cute right? Cute and sweet. I love you too dear! =)

2007-10-07T00:34:00.000+08:00

Happy 9 Months Sweetheart!
I did not forget okay?
I just did not realise it was 12 already?
I love love you!
It's been a long,
tough, fun, enjoyable,
awesome, happy time with you!
I never want to leave or lose you!
You the best I've ever had.
Cheri is:
-Awesome
-Beautiful
-Wonderful
-Lovely
-Silly
-Cute
-Pretty
-Lovable
-Missable
-Sexy
-Horny
-Caring
-Irresistable
-Encouraging
-Charming
-Retarted
-Idiotic
And I love her for who she is!
All these in my eyes!
My dearest, lovliest sweetheart ever

Dear, you have been the best girlfriend I've ever had. Not the longest yet, but the best ever! Isn't that like good to hear? See the YET? I have put so much faith and trust in us! We can do it! I love you for who you are, so don't change! I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART! YOU THE BEST!

2007-10-06T00:18:00.000+08:00

Hello peoples! Had no school today, so I stayed home, and slept. Felt so good, after so long, I never had that amount of sleep since the last holiday. I can't wait till exams are over, I'll be finally free, although I haven't been studying. I must! Cheri, help me. I want to get through this year. School is already getting ultra boring. It sucks ass. Can't wait till all this is finally over.

So today, I waited for Cheri to come over. I met her at the Bus Stop. While walking back we experienced a spider. A poisonous one. We didn't know it at that time. It crawled on me and I was afraid it would bite me. So scary. Well that was over, we slacked and could finally lie in my bed just hugging each other after so long. It felt so good. WE DID NOT DO ANYTHING! Other than hug ans kiss. Made Maggi mee for her, and myself of course. Then I went to bathe and change. Nicole and Zain were supposed to meet us, but they didn't in the end.

So only Cheri and I were there. Went to Penin to buy skinnies! I now have Blue, Red, and Green added to my collection. Cheri has Blue and Green. Saw Kelly, Adam, Niven, and Isfa at penin. Never hung out with them before, but I know them now, you would know why later. Anyway, we left after that, as it was almost time for her to get home. Sent her home, and she said I looked cute while sleeping on the bus. Well, you looked cute sleeping at my house too! Dropped her off at my house and went to church.

Wanted to serve mass, but there were 7 servers, so I did not serve in the end. Met Nicole to give her her letter reply she wanted from me. Then waited at the Priest house for Uncle Tony. Mummy shifted office to Alexandra, so far! She doesn't seem too happy about it. Anyway, uncle Tony gave me some money for my skinnies. Met Zain at his house and went to Penin.

Bought my blue skinnies then, as I did not have enough money when I was with Cheri. Then made our way to Far East, to meet Kelly, Niven, Isfa, and Adam. Kelly is Zain's good friend, so yeah! That's how I know them now. Did not think I was going to meet them later on when I saw them at Penin. How strange. Anyway, we slacked and all. Then left for home. Zain, Niven and I took bus to Esplanade first, slacked awhile and took 10 back home. That is all for today.

I LOVE YOU CHERI DARLING!

2007-10-04T22:15:00.000+08:00

Hello Everyone! Today was not bad. Some good parts, and some not so good parts. Well then, first things first. Darling, don't worry so much okay? You will make it through this year. I have faith in you, and I know you can do it! Have faith in yourself, and as long as you do your part in doing your best by studying, God will definitely help you get through. Just pray to him about it. And I'm always here for you, to make you happy, to cheer you up, to care for you, to understand you, but most of all, to love you! So don't think so much already alright? I Love You!

Today, I woke up early, to meet Zain at 7, but he never turned up. Took bus qith Claire today to school. Met Cheri, and gave her my good luck hug and kiss. Slacked with Jonathan and Scott after that for awhile, and went home as I wasn't feeling well. Went home, got changed and went to the doctor. MC for today, tomorrow got no school, no exam. I got ready and all and left the house for block 51.

Waited for Cheri for about 30 minutes. Was pissed off at first, but wa okay after she talked to me, and heard me out. I was angry with Zain for not going for his N levels. Angry with Victoria, Sophia, and a little bit of Nadine for not saying hi, but asking for my Pocky the first thing they saw me instead. So I was very agitated. But Cheri of course, cheered me up, and I was alright after awhile. She bought me food, and I bought her drinks. Waited for Zain to come to 51, and scolded him. Slacked there for awhile longer.

Left for Parkway, KFC, to have lunch as I was hungry. Saw Susanne and her other 2 friends. Had Zinger for lunch, Slacked there for awhile, and went to walk around in Parkway. Went to top shop to buy my boxers, and went to slack at Macs after that, as Zain was afraid his mum would be at Parkway. Leah and her 2 friends came after that. They slacked with us. Went to put mentos in the coke to make it explode, Zain had no idea that it would. This guy came and asked "so does it explode?" Random. Went back to Macs, Leah's 2 friends left. Cheri, Zain, Leah, and I waited for Jonathan. He took a long time to come, and all of us got pissed off.

Leah changed her tuition timing just to see him. When he came, we brought him to the staircase. Leah and Cheri gave him slaps on the back, while Zain and I gave him a bashing. It was all out of fun. Went to meet the weird people at the playground at the Library there. Then I went to send Cheri home. Since her mum wasn't home, she changed and came out again. Mr Lak caught the boys and girls at the playground, as some residents complained it was noisy. So Cheri and I went into hiding. Mr Lak saw us, I think I'm dead on Monday.

Cheri, Zain, Jonathan, his friend, and I went to Parkway after that. Jonathan and his friend went to pierce their lips. Impatient posers, can't wait till after the exams. We waited very long, but I guess it was alright. Left after that, sent Cheri home, played around with her for awhile, and left. Went to meet Zain cause he wasn't feeling alright. Brought him out and went to meet Jonathan, we were talking about what happened the whole day and stuff like that. Left after 30 minutes, and went to the Coffee shop.

Met Boon all, my dad was there drinking, he was a little drunk, so I stayed there. My dad is crazy. Just got back. Cheri really wants me to blog, so I did. Darling, I'm always here for you. I love you. Don't think so much already okay? I don't want you to feel so stressed and all. I'm worried for you. I love you sweetheart! Come to me if you need anything, because I'll always be here!
I LOVE YOU!

2007-10-03T21:04:00.000+08:00

Today was fine.
Could not sleep last night,
woke up really tired.
Went to school, and did not sleep at all!
First time man!
Physics - Studied
English - Slacked
Chinese - Watch Show
Humanities - Ciao
Met Zain and Chit at 51.
Sorry to hear about it Chit.
Waited for Cheri.
Slacked with Nadine, Vic, and Sophia for awhile.
They left, I went to Cheri's house.
Went to ECP after that.
Was supposed to jog but ended up slacking,
and having fun on the beach.
Digging and writing and pictures!
Left after that and home it was.
DINNER, ICE CREAM, CHERI! =)
I LOVE CHERI CHOO!

Here are the pics:

2007-10-01T20:33:00.000+08:00

Hello hello!
Today was alright.
Was back in school, 1 whole day.
PE was awesome!
Chinese was boring.
Recess was alright, different without Zain around.
Math was fun and boring.
Physics sucked.
Chemistry was okay.
Some boy got smashed by the notice board,
the whole big glass fell on him,
was bleeding furiously.
Don't know what happened after that.
School ended, met Zain awhile, then Jon.
Waited at 51, slacked awhile, then went to Cheri's house.
Studied a little, then went to exercise.
She need to exercise more, so unfit!
No offence baby! It was fun anyway.
I enjoyed myself with you today.
Nothing much left to talk about!
I love the song on my blog.
Especially the line:
Love Is Not When You Feel Only Pain.
Listen to it, its awesome!
That's all for now, I LOVE CHERI CHOO!

2007-09-29T23:43:00.000+08:00

Some Pictures For You To Enjoy

This was to make Cheri extremely happy!

2007-09-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

Today was alright.
Woke up a laid in bed for hours.
Until Cheri called and asked me to meet.
I took quite sometime to meet her.
Parents were being bitches.
Did not want to give me money to top up my card.
Anyway, Cheri cheered me up.
Met her, she paid a bit for my food.
I did not have enough money.
Chloe joined us.
Went to get balloons.
Thank you sweetheart ILY!
Went to church, Novena with Sam.
Eye Liner, family made noise.
Today was "nagging" day.
And "kaypo" day.
Cheri is still the best.
Thats all for now, CIAO!

2007-09-27T20:39:00.000+08:00

Today was alright.
Got to school late cause it was raining.
Umbrella boy came to pick us up.
Zain, Jonathan, and I, I mean.
Went to school, and lessons.
BORING!
But managed to get entertained the whole way through.
Everyone was exceptionally nice today.
Salleh was being a bitch.
Read my personal stuff,
Whole class got angry with him.
Met Zain after school.
Bought a rose for Cheri, as it was in the calendar.
She seemed really happy bout it.
Went back to school.
Met my dad and Wahab.
According to Wahab I confirmed going to Sec4.
Left to meet Zain and Jon.
Saw Hui min, Chloe, Nicole, and many other people today.
Went to meet Cheri and slacked at her house.
I left, then her dad came back home.
Just in time, luckily she chased me out.
That's about it.
I LOVE CHERI! =)

2007-09-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

Well, hello there once again. Today wasn't too bad. Cheri asked me to blog. So here I am, Blogging. So, woke up early today to go to Zain's house and get him up. He was very reluctant to go to school, but I managed to get him up. We left his house, and were in school on time. All the prefects were after Zain, Jonathan, and I today. Well, school was alright, distracting, but alright. Got 2 strokes of the cane. Got sent home at 1240 for haircut. Zain left with me.

We waited for Cheri, then Zain went back to school. I followed Cheri home to put her books. Then we met at 51 and waited for the rest. Made our way to Parkway. bought balloons, and went to Macs. Was quite fun there. Leah left. Cheri got angry with mw cause I went to smoke. Zain and Jonathan left, and I sent Cheri home. She said I had to find something creative that would make her happy.

I couldn't think of anything, so our walk back was rather awkward. Sent her home, and sat at the bus stop, regretting that I could not think of anything, and started thinking of smething. Then, I walked, and plucked some flowers. I went up to her house. Initially I wanted to get down on my knees, but I wasn't proposing, so I didn't. I then passed her the flowers and asked for her forgiveness. Well, everything is fine now. I love you ssweetheart! I really do.
YOU THE BEST BABY!

2007-09-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

Hello There People Of The World!
Today Was Bad, And AWESOME!
Did not go to school, was not feeling well.
Zain came over, I fought with him.
He was pulling pen knifes away from me.
I started kicking him all, cause I wanted to cut myself.
Was very very stressed.
Met Cheri after school, walked to the bus-stop.
Took bus to SAC to meet Illiana and Tracy.
Took cab to the airport, ate at MACS.
Went to T1 for awhile, then back to T2.
Starbucks, study?
Left at 530, took train.
Then 31 from Tanah Merah to send Cheri home.
The ride back was enjoyable.
Sat at the steps outside till her sister came back.
Was really fun, we finally had our time.
Check her neck when you see her! =)
I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART!
Re-Tar-Ted!

2007-09-18T20:33:00.000+08:00

Hey, today wasn't that great. Firstly, my favorite Grand Uncle passed away this morning, but I can't see him because he stays in Malaysia. Then, I had some sort of a fight with Cheri today, and it still isn't resolved. I'd rather not talk about it.

This sucks. You think that you are a wall separating me from my fun and happiness, but what you don't see is that you ARE my fun and happiness, and so much more. You think that I don't need you. If I didn't need you, wouldn't I have left you already? There isn't a point in having a relationship if I don't need you right? You feel pushed aside. I don't blame you. But I'm really trying to make you feel wanted, and know that you ARE wanted, by me. I know we haven't been spending much time together. But do we have a choice? You have to be home by 3 everyday. I can't go to your house if nobody is at home. With the amount of restrictions, it isn't easy for you or for me. That's why I asked you just now if your mum would be home any other time during this week, so that I can spend time with you. I know it really sucks to be in your position. But think about it, it sucks to be in the position I am in too.

I just want us to be okay. From the evening of yesterday, I knew there was something wrong, but you did not want to tell me anything. How can I sort anything out with you, if you don't tell me how you feel? We have been together for 8 months + now. Wouldn't I know if you are alright or not? But no matter how much I asked you, you said you were fine, so I had no other choice but to believe you right? It isn't easy, not for you, not for me. I'm so hurt that you think I'm not always there for you. Especially when I make time for you, especially when you are feeling down. I also feel very hurt, when I talk or message you, and you sound like you don't want to talk to me, or are in a grumpy mood, and can't laugh, but when with your friends, you can laugh away, like you have never did before. It's very hurtful for me, but I kept it all in because I did not want to start an argument.

I guess whatever I do, or try to do, doesn't affect you in any way? Please prove me wrong. There are many more things left unsaid, but I don't want to say anything, because some things are better left unsaid. They aren't feelings, they are experiences. But whatever I say or do doesn't seem to be affecting you. I've learnt how to be more sensitive to the way you feel, but have you done the same to me? I've learnt to understand you more, what about you? Please, please, I beg you, prove me wrong. I never want to lose you, you know that. If I did not need you, why would I never want to lose you?

I really really love you, and you are my life, my joy, my happiness. Without you, I'd have nothing left to live for. Life would be just a meaningless journey. I just don't want you to feel the way you feel now. I'll try to spend more time with you, but we must do this together, not alone. I Love You Sweetheart!

2007-09-17T21:23:00.001+08:00

Hey Everyone! Just thought of dropping by for awhile to say Hi! As I haven't blogged in a long time, I must say. Anyway, life has been treating me real good. Everything is going fine, maybe except for certain things. Other than that, everything is great. That's all I have to say for now, quite busy, so sorry! I LOVE CHERI CHOO! CIAO!

2007-09-13T21:54:00.000+08:00

Hey People! Today wasn't really such a great day. 2 strokes of the cane, one for being late and one for not knowing how to do my maths question? What the fuck right. Anyways, supposed to study but ended up throwing eggs and tomatoe downstairs from Jonathan's house instead. Was alright.

Had problems with Cheri today, and that's why I'm in no mood to blog, and I'd rather not talk about anything. I feel so emotional now, but it doesn't seem like anyone is free or awake now, so I shall just be by myself. Anyway, I just dropped by to say that I love Cheri loads.

Sometimes I wonder why life has to be this way? Can you tell me why? It is like, never ending. This fear, stress, depression, lonliness, hopeless. You can't help it sometimes right? Nobody can blame anyone for feeling this way. But I can blame someone, want to know who? Make a wild guess... No Idea? Well, thats me of course. I can only blame myself right? So can everyone, everyone can blame me too, because what I go through is nothing compared to these feelings.

Being Emotional isn't always good. But it's the best way to express your feelings. When you are down or have no where to go, just emo. Being emotional helps you to express your feelings easier, although sometimes it's hard to express it to those that you love. Being emotional, is what I'm meant to be.

Love, oh sweet love. Love makes you feel hurt. It makes you fight more, just only to grow closer to that certain person, but sometimes, people don't believe in that. Well, what can I do? I did not create love, God did. Everyone has love in themselves. It is whether you want to let it out. Express it in a way you feel is best, not in a way others tend to express it. Make you love work right. Take control of it, don't let it take control of you, and everything will be just fine?

Hatred? What about hatred? What do you know about hatred? Care to share? Hatred is a very strong feeling. there are many questions that can be put to the word hatred. Why? Who? What did he/she do? How? Are you positively sure you hate that person? Or do you just tell yourself you do because nobody else likes him/her? Hatred, such a strong word.

The Emo Me, ILY!

2007-09-09T14:28:00.000+08:00

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Cheri Choo(:

2007-09-09T01:10:00.000+08:00

Hello! Just dropped by to say "I Love Pink Skinnys!" But of course I LOVE CHERI MORE!

Today was awesome. Still no pictures yet. I'm always left without them. Oh Well, CIAO!

2007-09-07T23:44:00.000+08:00

Happy 8 Months Sweetheart!
Today Was Awesome!
Cheri Wants To Lose Weight!
I Love You Sweetheart!
Let's Keep It Going!

2007-09-05T12:16:00.000+08:00

Hello hello! Cheri is starting her must blog must blog nonsense again! Such a nagger! Just kidding. Anyway, she wants me to blog from Saturday till Yesterday, Tuesday. Crazy right? Well ten, I shall try and make this a long one to keep everyone, especially Cheri occupied, so she will stop nagging at me.

Well then, Saturday, I woke up earlier than usual, to meet Cheri at her place at 1. I reached there at 1245 and she was still at Parkway. So i went to 7-11, bought some stuff, and met her at the Library - Tao Nan bridge. Walked towards her house, but her dad was still home. So we went to another block to sit and wait. Chloe and Jonathan came soon after. We saw Cheri's dad leaving, and made our way to her house. Note: Her mum knew we were at her house. Slacked there, stole food, and watched The Bride Of Chucky. Fucking idiotic show. How can a doll give birth man! Well then, we all got ready, and left for church. Met Illiana and the rest at church, the usual. Jonathan and I met Zain after that, and waited for Cheri to finish Class. Zain and I kept making fun of Nicole, about her being pregnant and stuff. Cheri came and Zain, Cheri, and I left to go to Pasir Ris for Ashriqah's party. It was the first time I hung out with Cheri's friends. Wasn't too bad, it was quite fun actually. Zain was being a total idiot as usual! Went to the arcade, and Zain and I helped Jolyn to take some Yellow Ribbon from a tree. Went back and slacked for awhile more, then left to send Cheri home. Cheri, Zain, and I went to some mini stadium to slack for awhile, then sent Cheri home. Slacked awhile more with Zain and made my way home. And that was about it for Saturday.

So, Sunday, went to church, wasn't early, wasn't late. Normally late. Saw Sam and she finally gave me my birthday present. Went up to serve mass, and went for breakfast after that. Accompanied Rachel to mass, and Boon busted and went for choir practice. Met Boon, Illiana, Samantha, after mass. Boon left us at parkway, so Illi, Sam, and I went to eat at Old Chang Kee! Went back to church for meeting, and met Zain, Jonathan, Illi, Jude, and Sam to go to Plaza Sing. Was supposed to watch Louisa dance but was late because of stupid meeting, so we watched the other schools. Was very interesting and quite fun. Slacked and played awhile more with Balloons. We went to see Louisa for awhile, then Illi, Sam, and Jude had to leave. When they left, Zain, Jonathan, and I left to go to the Esplanade. After the Esplanade, we went to the Merlion, and splashed water on each other. Camwhored alot, but the pictures are still with Jonathan. We created havoc in the Rooftop toilet, with toilet paper, soap, and water. Really fun. Went to the Fullerton Hotel, slacked, took some lamp and left. We practically camwhored everywhere we went. I fell asleep on the bus 10 all the way to Changi General Hospital. Took bus back home, and that was Sunday!

Now Monday. Woke up early to meet Cheri at her place. Was a little late. Played with her sister, talked and did some other personal stuff. Met Boon and Poh Liang on the bus to go to Kallang, Cage, to play soccer. Was fun and tiring at the same time. We won quite a fair amount of games. Left at around 230. Was supposed to leave at 2 but it was raining. cabbed to Cheri's house, as her sister was angry I was still not back yet. Went back, took a shower, slacked, ate 2 cup noodles, drank many many root beer, and left when Cheri and Chloe had to go to their Grandmother's place for dinner. Met Zain and Jonathan at Zain's place and went to Esplanade. We met quite a few fucked up people on the way. They followed me to Makan Sutra to eat, and we went to Marina Square to meet Sanjiv, Nigel, and Teh. Made fun of Teh, we went to the Roof top, I went to shit, the others created havoc in the toilet again. Jonathan threw stones at me, so when I came out, I threw stones at him also, and one hit the glass door, it almost broke. We all ran off after that. Went to the Merlion for awhile, to the Fullerton, and went to take bus back. Fell asleep again, to the same place. Shows how tired I have been. Well, that was the end of Monday.

Tuesday, met Cheri at 10+ at her place. Watched TV, she got ready and we left at 11+. We went to Parkway for her to develop her Photos, then to Anderson's to buy Ice cream, and Macs to buy fries as we were hungry. Walked to the bus stop, when I had a stomachache. So walked back to Parkway. I took rather long this time. Cheri got a little pissed but I guess it;s okay now. She did not have her phone with her, I had it with me. Well then we took 36 to Plaza Sing, and met Chloe, Illi, and Jonathan. We then went to Burger King to have lunch, it sucked they cheated my money. I hope they die! Jonathan went to buy our tickets, and we went to watch 1408. Confusing, senseless, idiotic, interesting show. More pointless than anything. After the movie, we went to the Arcade to play some funny game. Machine cheated my money, the rest I shall not talk about. Went to Long John's to eat and went to some funny shop. Got pictures, but I don't have them. Chloe then left. After awhile, Illi and Jonathan left. So Cheri and I went back to Parkway. Collected her pictures, went to Anderson's and bought Ice Cream again, and macs to buy Fries again. Walked to east coast Macs, and we saw Nigel there. Bought more fries and a drink, and left after that. Went to the playground for awhile, did our stuff, and I sent Cheri home. Went to meet Zain after that, at his place. Watched CSI and left for home. That was it for Tuesday.

Today, could not sleep anymore as my sisters friends were making too much noise, so I came to my grandmothers place. From then, I've been blogging. Okay, so my hands are already sweating now. Getting real hard to type, but I still have one thing left.

Sweetheart, I'm glad you are aware that I care for you, and that's why I stayed up till 2am to make sure you were asleep, as you told me you couldn't. Well, we have been together for almost 8 months. We have definitely grown stronger, and we obviously love each other more now. I want this to last. Many people have asked me the same question, and I really really think we will marry each other. It might be too early to say that, some may feel, but I know and I'm sure, that you are the one for me. Darling, I love you, and I'd never let you go.

I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART

2007-08-30T19:53:00.000+08:00

Hello Hello Hello! I'm somehow freaking high, although I'm ultra tired, and missing Cheri! Today was splendid. But Cheri's phone got confiscated for no reason at all. Stupid teacher, that Peggy Tan one! Nonsense! Full of shit.

Well then, woke up real early, but only met Cheri at 530 as she overslept. The rest did not come today, cause Victoria could not leave her house, her daddy was awake. Had breakfast at Bedok Macs and took a walk to school. Zain woke up late, so Jonathan and I went to meet him at his house. We left late, and when we went to school, the security did not let us in and went to call Mr Lak. So we ran away and did not go back to school. Went to the Airport, then to my house. Played Xbox and left to meet the rest.

Met Victoria and Sophia first as Cheri and Nadine had to stayback. We went upstairs, to avoid someone. Then when Cheri and Nadine came, we slacked awhile more and went to East Coast. The walk there was already awesome. Ate at Burger King, Nadine treated us. Thank you! We went to the break-wayers after that. The waves were amazingly big. Cheri and I got hit by them 4 or more times. We were like awesomely wet! It was damn cold after that. The time spent there was great. We went to Macs to slack and it was great there too! Really fun day!

Sent Cheri home and made my way back. Got home, and used played the Xbox. Addictive man! Went to shower and to my grandmothers house. Computer, haven't had dinner yet. It wasn't ready. I guess I'll go eat now. Till next time CIAO!

One last thing, Thank you Victoria, Nadine, Sophia, Jonathan, Zain, and Cheri for the past few days. They were awesome. I LOVE CHERI CHOO XUI LI! MY one and only sweetheart!

2007-08-28T19:58:00.000+08:00

hello there! Today was qite awesome! I woke up real early and went back to sleep. Woke up again at 545 and called cheri. We met at 645 and I walked her to school. Knocked into a pole while on the way to meet her. Head was really pain. We walked and I enjoyed myself even if it was for a short while. After walking her to school, walked to the 7-11 bs stop to meet Jonathan. We waited for Zain and went to school.

I did my art today, so proud of myself. But I slept all the way through after recess. Left school at 1240 with Zain. Made our way to 51 and waited for the rest. Met Cheri, Victoria, Sophia, Nadine, and Jonathan. Went to Parkway to slack. Then went to eat at pastamania and left for home. I'm too lazy to elaborate. Till next time.

I LOVE YOU CHERI CHOO!

2007-08-27T20:21:00.000+08:00

Hey! I learned how to play tennis today. Quite fun. Cheri, I'm sorry for whatever I may have done wrong. Or whatever i have done that may have hurt you. I love you!

Cried so much, cause i miss Cheri so much. It hasn't even been 1 day. I don't know why. But sweetheart, thank you for calling me to make sure I was fine and all. I Love you LOADS! NEVER LEAVE ME!

2007-08-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

must blog Must Blog MUST BLOG

This Cheri Ah!

Well then, YESTERDAY! Did not go to school. It was planned with Cheri. She did not feel like going to school as well. Zain and Jonathan did not go to school too. We went to Parkway Macs to eat, and we saw Visa, Boon, and Jeanette! They did not go to school also. Junior College People! We slacked till about 9 till Jonathan, Zain and I left to go to my house. Jonathan had to go back to school as his teacher called his dad. So Zain and I went to my house in the end. I went to sleep, and Zain used the computer as usual.

We left to meet Cheri at her house. She straightened my hair. Zain left after that, and Cheri and I went to Parkway Macs, to eat. I paid for her as she did not have money. What's new! Well, I enjoy doing it sometimes, being the nice guy and kind soul that I am. We went to walk around at Parkway but ended up walking aimlessly in circles. So we decided to go to East Coast, where I intended to go in the first place. We stayed for awhile, and I sent her home. Played Burnout, and went to my grandmothers place. Talked to Cheri as usual, and slept around 11. I did not sleep properly though.

TODAY, woke up intending to go to school, but Zain was not going and I did not feel like going. I then had to cut my hair, so in the end, I never made it to school. Went to meet Zain at his place, slept for awhile, watched Friends on TV and then left for my place. We played Burnout, which was really fun. I then went to get my haircut, and we went back to my house again. I went to do my own stuff and Zain of course, went to use the computer. Before leaving we played more burnout.

Went to 51. Met Cheri, then Sophia, Victoria, Nigel, Hui Min, Jonathan, and Nadine. Cheri and I went to eat at East Coast at East Coast first, then Joel met us and we went to meet the rest again. Without Zain, Hui Min, and Nigel. They bought EC. Went to Victoria's Condo, and took some EC, all of us were laughing like hell. I just realised that it is fun to hang out with Cheri's friends, I should do it more often. Awesome. Well then, Victoria kept the EC cause everyone was taking too much, and we told them it was with Cheri. Jonathan was being stupid so I threw him into the thorns. Funny! Playing here and there! Awesomely Funning! Left with Cheri, and sent her home. Got home, and played burnout. Took a shower, and made my way to my grandmothers house, where I had to take care of the kids right away. Oh well, it's fun. More laughter. Altogether, today was Awesome. Thanks guys, ROCK ON!

TODAY WAS ONE OF THE MOST AWESOMEST DAYS EVER! THANKS EVERYONE!

I LOVE CHERI CHOO MY DEAREST MOST LOVED SWEETHEART! =)

2007-08-20T20:34:00.000+08:00

Hello people. It's been sometime since I last blogged. Well then, times have been very good for me. I've been enjoying life! Especially with Cheri and my good friends arpund like Zain, Jonathan, Illiana, Chloe and many others!

Well, I've been sleeping earlier these past few days, much earlier, with Cheri. I mean at the same time. So today, I woke up early to meet Cheri at 6. We walked to East Coast and sat at our usual bench. Watched the sae, the sunrise, and our usual stuff. Walked to the bus stop opposite 7-11 to meet Zain and Jonathan.

School was alright. Did not take PE as I sprained my ankle yesterday while playing soccer. Walked around the track about 5 times, and watched the others playing soccer. Ahsley and I were disturbing this guy walking with us as he used having Asthma as an excuse of not taking PE. He always has spasms in class. So I called him Spasmatic, and he acknowledged it. How dumb. Now the whole class is calling hime that. Got sent out of class during math as I did not bring my book. Slept awhile, and studied the rest of the way.

Met Zain, Jonathan, and Nigel after school at 51. Waited for Cheri and went to buy lunch. Went to Cheri's house to eat, play Icy Tower, and other things. She atrted doing nonsense to my hair and started to tie it and stuff. Ask her for the pictures. It was great to be able to spend our Personal Quality Time together. I left around 7 and I'm having a really bad cold. Probably because I did not smoke. Trying to stop by my birthday. This saturday yes!

Got back to my grandmothers house played Icy Tower and now blogging. Talking to Cheri online now. Sorry darling, that I smoked 1 stick.. I really couldn't take the cold. I love you sweetheart. Hope you understand.

2007-08-13T18:08:00.000+08:00

Hello people. First things first, I would like to apologize about how harsh I was being in my previous post. It was out of anger. I still love you Illiana, Nicole, Zain, and James. What has passed, should be forgotten about. As it is some bad memories of the past. It just reminded me about the time when Cheri broke up with me.

This post is to Cheri, to show her how much I love her, and how much I will never leave her, or never want her to leave me. For my one and only Sweetheart, Cheri Choo. I love you BABY!

Well then, first off, I'd like to say, darling you have always been there for me no matter what the problem was. I'm sorry for all the times tat I have hurt you, whether it was a little, or a lot, I'm sorry. I want to thank you for never leaving my side, especially when I needed you the most.

Baby, you have changed me inside out. You have taught me how to be more understanding, patient, kind, loving, and caring. You have been patient with me, and you have put in a great amount of trust in me. You are the most understanding, patient, loving, caring, concerned, beautiful, amazing, extraordinary, and wonderful person I've ever met. As much as you don't want me to leave you, so will I not leave you.

The only difference between Ordinary and Extraordinary,
is that little extra you put into it!

I LOVE YOU BABY!

2007-08-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

You know what! I have no fucking mood to blog. I just want to come here to vent my anger on certain people whom I shall not mention. I beleive you yourselves know who you are. At first I was all in a good mood. But know, it's all totally changed. I don't beleive I actually have fucking friends like you, I mean, I don't believe I have fucked up friends like you whom I actually consider my closer friends. Fuck it.

You should know who you are, "best friend", "sister", "bestie", "secretary". Church friends, school friend, never thought you were those kind of people. But guess what! My impression on you just totally changed. A great amount of trust was lost in you 4 today. I'm sure you won't like that. But if you ever did consider me as your good friend, or even as just a friend, I do not understand why such a thing could happen. All along lies were being told, and I was a fool to beleive them. It's stupid, it's dumb, and I don't belive I actually fell for it.

You know it fucking sucks when you find out about these kind of things. You know friend, I hate the way you keep saying "ah angry" It fucking annoys the hell out of me, I really hope you are reading this. Cause even if I'm not angry, when you say it, it makes me angry, cause you are being the most annoying person on earth at that point of time.

Bestie & Sister, you two kept it from me, and played along like you two knew nothing about it at all. It sucks to know that people like you can keep these things from me. I had a great amount of trust in you, but I have just lost at least 60% of that trust I had. I feel like you people have taken advantage of me. Do you think it is a good thing? Cause if you do, you have no feelings. And if you have got no feelings, then I suggest you fuck off.

Church "friend", the altar servers has brought us closer, and has helped me to put trust in you.
Well. it's still building up, and now it's breaking down. How interesting eh? It sucks to know I have friends who treat me in this way. It sucks. You wouldn't know how it feels like from my point of view.

If you four think or know who you are, and you still want this friendship, I suggest you come talk to me as soon as possible, cause I aint gonna make the first move anymore. I've taken too much, I'm about to explode. People have always been taking advantage of me since I was young. I thought it had ended, but I have just realised that it hasn't. I'm not planning to take revenge, as some people would say, but I think you 4 people should make the first move, and at least apologize, even if it happened a long time ago. If you can't be bothered, then I would finally know what kind of friends I have.

If you still want this, then say it, or I'd think otherwise. You wanna keep this friendship? I've always been there for you, and you can still do this to me? Even at the verge of something bad that is going to happen? My god! Please don't only think about yourselves. I may have found out a little late, yes, i know. But it still matters anyway. Fuck it! It's your move now. The ball is in your court. Think about it! BYE!

2007-08-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

Hello eveyone! I'm really tired, so forgive me if I blog only for a little bit. Yesterday, and today were two busy days for me, I won't blog on everything, but if you want to know, read Cheri's blog okay?

So, woke up early yesterday, to serve Wedding Milestone Mass. Was interesting and fun, we smoked the whole place up withinscence till father Patrick starter to cough. After mass, went to the canteen to eat. The food was awesome. Went to meet Cheri after that and went to Parkway. Walked around, and went to collect my phone, they said it was beyond repair, but they called afew days back to say I had to pay $180 for them to repair the phone, and then they called to say it was ready for collection. FUCK Nokia! Then we walked walked walked, and went back to my place to put some things.

Left for Parkway to meet Chloe, we walked around and tried on clothes. I love the shirt I tried on at Top Man. Hint hint Cheri. We then went to KFC to eat, and left to go to the Esplanade, to watch fireworks, since Zain's mum did not want to give him the tickets. It was really crowded. Had lots of fun! especially cause Cheri was there! And especially during the fireworks. My day was awasome. I'll elaborate more when I'm not tired, tomorrow. I promise Cheri! =) I LOVE YOU CHERI DEAR!

2007-08-09T01:44:00.000+08:00

Hello! Well, since I'm waiting for my clothes to finish washing, and everyone is more or less asleep, I decided to come by and blog. Also as so Cheri would be happy if I do so.

Tuesday, 07/08/07:

7 Months baby! Woke up, was late for school, Zain and I, and as such, we went to his house to take a rest. Slept till 11+ and rushed back home to get everything ready for Cheri! 777 heart shaped straws. Met her at 51, the block opposite her school. Accompanied Zain for a bit, and Cheri and I made our way to my house. Gave her the straws, a card, and some pictures. She loved them all. 7 Months of memories, more good than bad. Have been the most wonderful 7 months of my life. We had our 7 minute french kiss, where we kept laughing, but of course enjoyed it at the same time. Made our way to East Coast Park after that, the place where we always have fun. Ate at Macs as usual, and took many pictures, see them on Cheri's blog. Sent dearest home, and made my way back home after. 7 months was perfect, everything went well. I enjoyed myself dear.

Wednesday, 08/08/07:
Went to school, first time in a long time, and received a warning from my form teacher. Put under 5 days dentention for 3 hours each. How bad can this get. Art homework to be completed by Monday. National Day Celebration was super boring, was falling asleep. School ended, went to 51 to wait for Cheri. Waited for about 1 hour before she came out. While waiting, the guys and I were playing with our reflections on the car. We looked like bloody midgets. So CUTE! Met Cheri, and saw touch me at 711. She is crazy, and scary. I'm terrified. Cheri and I went to Parkway, KFC, to have lunch. Walked around, ISETAN! And many many other places. Walked her home, and checked the cupboard outside her house, which was filled with nothing.

Went to meet Zain and Sheeks on the bus, sent her home, then Zain and I went home too. Was trying to convince my mum to collect my phone, but by the time she went, the shop closed. So must go tomorrow. Walked around Parkway for awhile with mummy, and went back home. Looked after Keiran and Ian. Talking on the phone to Cheri was awesome.

Okay, I got to go now. Clothes are done. Till next time, CIAO!

I LOVE CHERI!

2007-08-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

I don't feel like blogging today, I just dropped by to say I Love, And Miss My Dearest Cheri Choo!

2007-08-04T00:33:00.000+08:00

"And We Are All Brighter Than Stars Back Home"

So Hello All! I'm Back Again, hand are starting to hurt me, some of you prbably know why. Well Then,I Have more to blog about today now, but first things first, Cheri Is Damn SWEET!

Okay then, did not go to school today. Was supposed to do something important to me, but went to sleep instead, because I was really tired. Well then, went to meet Cheri at block 51 after her school, and we made our way to my house. Was supposed to slack and all, but her mum called her and she had to be back by 3.

We cabbed back to her house, and her mum invited me in. We were using the computer and soon after her mum let her go out to the beach with me. Very nice of her. So well, we had our quality time. Was really fun. Went to Macs, had milkshake and fries, and went to the break waters to sit and relax.

There was this tent with this two people inside, the girl on top of the guy. We didn't care. We sat at the break waters. Soon after, the couple zipped up the tent, and there was definitely something happening in there. Then another couple came and sat at the bench in front, and started making out. MY GOSH! Inexperienced man! So I was like, since everyone is so horny today, lets do our stuff. And Cheri and I started to french. My tongue has a really good friend.

Sat and talked, and hunted down crabs, but did not manage to catch any. Man! How sucky is that. Well, walked Cheri home, as usual, and left for church. Met Joshua, James, and Damien. Went to Jago for diner, and to church for oour meeting. Was really funny, all of us were laughing, till out stomach was pain, and till we had sore throat. Fun Fun Fun!

Went for supper after meeting, I just had a drink. My Mum sent Damien and I back. Slacked awhile, and went to my grandmothers house. I'm so proud of myself, I'm almost done. Talked to Cheri till she wated to sleep. Sleep well baby! Nothing much to blog about today, so till next time, signing out.

Sweetheart, I had alot of fun with you today. Thank you so much! I Love Love Love you! And I'm glad you accpeted me into your life too! You are the best I ever had. I want us to last forever! With lots of love! I love you!

2007-08-03T15:30:00.000+08:00

Hello! At Cheri's house now, because she can't go out. Was supposed to meet Zain, but he took 10 years to come, so I left. Did not go to school today though. Stayed at home to rest. Was actually supposed to do something for someone, but I thought of resting for awhile and overslept, so I'm a little bahine time now. Well then, that's all for now, will be back when I have more to say, till then CIAO!

I LOVE CHERI DEAR!

2007-07-31T21:54:00.000+08:00

Hello. There Isn't much to say about today, everything is on Cheri's blog, so just pay a visit there http://justyoursillygirl.blogspot.com/

2007-07-30T19:08:00.000+08:00

Hey. Nothing much to talk about for today, so I shall blog about yesterday. Something fucked up happening, I hope I'm not avoided or anything, cause I'm sure, and you know, that I always want to be there for you.

Well, Sunday, woke up a little late. hile I was having a bath, my house turned into a battle field, father shouting here, sister shouting there. Was really bad, I came out in my towel and shouted at them to all shut up. Then I walked away. Well, got ready and met Damien downstairs to take cab to church as we were a little late. First Holy Communion for the Primary 3's. Mass went well, the childrens singing was angelic! Beautiful. The parents were bitches. Met Cheri and Illiana after mass.

Went for breakfast with Cheri, Illiana, Damien, Joshua, Boon at Jago. Then went back to church for mass. Slacked awhile after mass, and followwed Cheri to buy chicken rice for her family. Sent her home and met the servers before going for meeting. Metting was extremely long. Went to Boon's house to change and went to play soccer at Laggon, field.

Was super muddy, but ultimately fun! Sliding here sliding there. Wonderful! Cousin power too. One of the most fun times playing soccer. Went to swim in the sea for awhile, to wash our stuff, and ourselves. The water practically changed colour. We all walked bare footed back to Laguna Park, to rinse off and change. Damien, Joel, Jude, and I shared a cab back home. Had dinner and went to use the computer. Had a really fun time with Cheri dear on the phone last night. Slept a little too late and overslept today.

Darling, no matter what happenes, you know I'll always be here caring, concerned, loving you. I'll always be here. That's what I'm here for. To make sure you are always alright, always happy. I know this might be a really hard time, but together with me, and your other friends, we can help you go through this, just to let you know, I'll be here for you, always Loving and Caring for you. I Love You!

2007-07-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

Hello! Today was quite fun! But tiring and sad at the same time. All kinds of different emotions were experienced by me today actually. Happy, Sad, Joyful, Angry, Stressed, Loved! Many Many others too. Let me start at the start of the day....

Woke up early, 7+ to get ready for the funeral I was going to serve. Met Damien and cabbed down. Did not have a proper sleep last night. Could not sleep, was thinking too much. Well then, Funeral was sad. Some 7 year old kid. Oh my! The family was so sad! I mean of course! Why wouldn't they. He is just a kid after all. It was so sad to see his face, lifeless. After the funeral went to meet Cheri dear at her house.

Waited for Zain and cabbed down to Katong Mall to pick up her sister, Chloe. Made our way to Parkway. Went to eat at Pastamania! Treat from Cheri's mum, although she wasn't there. Thank you! After eating, we made our way to Isetan. Toy section, had fun there. Kept playing with Chloe. Took bus back to Cheri's house. Zain and I followed Damien to go and eat first, while Cheri and Chloe went home. Went to Cheri's house after eating. Went to pick Chloe Sim up from the 7-11. Illiana and Andre came later. For some reason I still feel insecure with him around. Slacked, computer, TV, played with Chloe.

Left for church. Cheri, Chloe Sim, Illiana, Zain, and Andre went out. To Katong Mall? Joshua, Damien, and i went to serve Novena. Sam attended. Met Cheri and Zain after that to go to City Hall. The fireworks was awesome. It's so beautiful and nice to watch it with the one you love the most. I'm glad Zain has tickets. Sent Cheri dear home, and went to meet Zain after. Made my way home and came online. Bath, and back to the computer. Have been talking to Cheri since I was on the bus. So till next time, CIAO!

One last thing, I LOVE CHERI CHOO.

Sweetheart, Baby, Darling, Honey, Sweetie, Lovely, Sugar!

2007-07-25T22:22:00.000+08:00

Well Hello. I'm not really in the mood to blog today, but you know. People always say "Promises Are Meant To Be Broken" which follows the phrase "Rules Are Made To Be Broken" I have broken too many promises to Cheri, and I'm not going to let that happen again. I don't want to break my promise to Cheri that I will blog today so here it is.

Was supposed to meet Cheri at 5 today, but woke up at 5 instead. Met her at 6 and went to out usual morning, before school place, East Coast Park. Mac Donald's once again. I ate Filet O Fish, bought Cheri the $2 meal as she had not much of an appetite. Finished eating and walked her to school. Since today was Wednesday, we started at 815, so went to meet Zain at Bedok Macs. Took bus down, slept on it. Everyone got off the bus except for me, until the driver came up to wake me up. Sat there for awhile, Zain & Sheeka, and left to go to school. Slept on the bus again. Zain was afraid to be late.

School started. Assembly was quite interesting today. The school rally sounds so much better when the school band plays it. Their second performing piece was awesome. It reminded me of those fun times I had in band, those friends, performances, it felt so good, and somehow I wish I never quit band. But then again, there isn't a point in regretting, cause what is done, can't be undone. School was as usual. Well not really. Cheri's mum called me to check if she was in school, as the school messaged her saying Cheri was not in school. I was so worried that something might have happened, and was relieved when I was affirmed that she was in school. Last few periods, relief teacher, class making fun of each other, as usual. But I have had enough. Stay back here stay back there. 3 years and all, it's gotten too much, and I'm not going to tolerate anymore of this nonsense. Scolded then fuck and stuff in front of the teacher, my previous 2 years teacher. Told them I would laugh at their face if they stayed back. Teacher kind of protected me? I must say. Well then school ended.

Saw Cheri, Chloe, and Illiana at the back bus stop. They were going out. Took 31 home with Jude, Joel, Rikhil, and Samantha. Bus ride was fun. Got back, went home and slacked for abit. Nothing much to say, met the Bedok Court Kids. Talked to Cheri for abit. Went to play street soccer as usual. Home Sweet Home. Computer, Dinner. Met Tracy, and some other people after dinner. They asked to slack. Tracy said this phrase, "It's hard to break a Habit. Take out the H, there is still Abit. Take out the A, there is still Bit. Take out the B, there is still It" That made alot of sense, I was speechless. Got back home, computer again. That was all for today.

I feel as though you have more fun with your friends than with me. It hurts. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just thinking too much? Or maybe it's just because I have the most fun when you are with me. I don't know. And I don't know what to do, how to feel, what to say. It's so confusing.

I miss you real bad. I cried. I need you. I wish you were here. I somehow wish you could always be by my side, 24/7. But I know you can't. You know when you are feeling down, and the only person you want to be with, or have by your side at that certain time is that special someone? That someone you love so much. Means so much. That special someone is you, Cheri. I really miss you. I need your comforting hugs. Your addictive kisses. Your soothing love, care, concern. But most of all, I need you. I just wish you would somehow find a way to come here, by my side, whenever I was feeling down. Whenever I miss you so very much. Whenever I need you the most. I miss you Cheri. I just need to see you, so badly. Come to me. I won't be okay, until I can see you. I want that to be soon. I miss you, I love you, I need you, my sweetheart.

2007-07-23T20:23:00.000+08:00

Hello! There isn't much to blog about today. Well then, met Zain and Sanjiv in the morning today...

Blah blah blah, any usual day... Met Cheri after school. I thought I could meet her and go and eat lunch or something. But then Crystal wanted to have lunch with her, so I was like what the fuck la! But never mind, slacked awhile and made my way home.

Met Rikhil and the rest after that, went to play soccer, 4 on 4. My team was Rikhil, Kavin, Kish, and I. We won 14-15. I scored 10 goals. The rest were scored by Rikhil and Kavin. I was sweating so much I could practically squeeze my sweat out of my shirt. Well then, came home to cool down.

Going to bathe now, so maybe I'll blog later on just for fun. Till then, CIAO!

I LOVE CHERI DARLING SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOO MUCH!

2007-07-22T22:30:00.000+08:00

Okay, hello. Cheri asked me to blog yet again. I'm doing it as I promised her. Later she say I never keep my promises. So silly ah! Shh... don't tell her hor! =)

Okay so, today was supposed to wake up at 630 but woke 1 hour late. Reached church at 845. Recruitment went well, 30++ new servers in the society, WONDERFUL. This one now becoming like child-care centre in church sia! Free one some more. Haiyo. Must train them to become good good people. Like me, and the rest of the servers.

Well then, went to Parkway for lunch with Boon, Basil, Daryl, Joel, Illi, Sam, Jude, Marcus, Joshua. Then went to Boon's house where Boon, Illi, Sam, and I went to sleep. Went to Joshua's house after that to play Winning Eleven. Then went back to church. Got another 5 boys, but not yet confirmed. Played soccer with Daryl for awhile, I did something cool, ask Daryl. Then left for home. And that's about it for today.

I MISS CHERI CHOO so so so so so so so much! ARGH!

I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART! My sweetest sweetheart in the whole sweet wide world!

2007-07-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

Hello! Cheri has asked me to blog yet again. AND HER BLOG HAS NOTHING ABOUT ME! Haha! I LOVE YOU SWEETHEART!

Okay so met her at 5am this morning. Called her from 4-420 then only she answered, Imagine the amount of missed calls! Well, went to ECP Macs yet again to have breakfast. Then went to sit along the beach. Our usual seat was taken so we went to another. Then went to the beach just in front of the water and went to sit at the breakwaters. Made some recordings. Listen to my ringing tones if you want to hear them! Super cool! So then sent her to school, walked with her till she was like right outside school, then went to meet Zain.

We walked to the KCP bus-stop to take 31 to Tanah Merah, then to my house. We watched TV, used the computer and rested. Met Sheeks and her friends after that. Sheeka came to my house with Zain to wait for her friends. Something happened which I shall not mention here. But Sheeka, don't worry about it yes? It's all cool. Like I said, I live with such things, I can understand. They left after that.

Made my way to my grandmothers house, slacked for awhile. Went out to meet the BC kids, went to play street soccer, and came back home. Showered and now using the come! Sister MINNY! =)

I LOVE CHERI CHOO! YOU DA BOMB BABY!

2007-07-16T19:29:00.000+08:00

Hey Everyone! Cheri asked me to blog, so here I am, blogging. I'm only going to talk about today, cause I'm having a slight headache now, and I'm quite busy. Was supposed to go to school, but was really tired, and Zain did not want to go to school. So I met him at his house, and we went to sleep.

Went to my house after that, slacked, watched TV, used the computer, went to eat. I took my shower. Zain went to meet Sheeka, I went to meet Cheri. We got caught in the rain, Cheri and I. Went to KFC for lunch, with Boon and Si Ying. Went to Diva after that for Cheri to buy something. Then we left, to go to popular, but met Nigel and Visa first instead. They were making fun of some people singing.

Cheri and I went to popular, we spent at least 30mins there. I bought a pink pencil case, she bought a Tom and Jerry one, which I found for her. I took 4 pens for free, then we went off. Went to East Coast to walk. We slacked there for awhile, then left to go home.

Met Rikhil, Kish and Tracy for awhile. Then went home. Smoked 2 sticks today. I got high both times. Shows that I haven't been smoking. Hope you are happy Cheri, that I'm trying to stop. I Love You. Well, that's all for now, till next time CIAO!

2007-07-11T21:52:00.001+08:00

You know, this really sucks. I just can't stop thinking about it. It's pulling me down. Slowly, but pulling me down. It's bringing me down real bad. And it's getting worse. This sucks to the core. I never thought I would think so much. But somehow I can't stop thinking, I can't erase those memories, good and bad. Those memories of you always being there for me, when I had nobody else. And I can't stop thinking of that day....

That tragic day, when you left all of us. I felt so empty, and I still do. That tragic day when I got the call from mummy, that you had gone to some place, some place far away, some place with no means of communication, but prayer. I miss you. You were always there when I had nobody. When I needed someone to talk to, you were there. I must say you did pamper me, if not a little, alot. But you were always there. Through thick and skin. You were the one whom I could relate with the most easily. You could understand anything and everything. It sucks. You have been gone for almost 2 years now, but those memories still stay behind, as if it were just yesterday.

I ask for your help, to carry on. To do my best. I ask you to give me support. I ask you to give me the will power, the will and strength to stop smoking. To stop anything I do that is wrong. To stop sinning. You were a role model to me, a friend, but most of all, a Grandfather. And nothing can ever change that fact. I wish you never had to leave. But I guess when it's was time to go, you had to go. Pray for me, and stick by me. Through thick and thin. I need to feel your presence. I want to see you again. Even if it were for just one day. And I know I can truthfully say, that you, my grandfather, was the best friend I ever had.

Now, this is the time I need you the most, my dear Cheri. I need you to be by my side. I need you to pull me up when I fall. I need you to carry me when I can't walk. I need you to always be by my side. Because without you around, I would be nothing. I don't know what I would do. I really really need you. To talk to me, listen to me, and help me. Help me to go on. You are the only one who can do so much for me now. So please stay by my side. I apologise, and beg for your forgiveness for whatever wrong I have done. And I need to tell you to ignore whatever I may do wrong, or whatever I may do that might irritate you. I hope you understand, because I have been thinking so much, I've been getting agitated very easily. So please understand. Please give me your love. I love you. Never let me go baby. Because I will never let you go. I Love You Cheri. Thank you for always being there for me. Please continue staying by my side, my dearest girlfriend. I LOVE YOU!

2007-07-11T20:27:00.000+08:00

Hello. It's been sometime now hasn't it. Well, I'm really tired today. So I won't blog for so long. I slept at 1130 last night. Woke up at 3am and called Cheri to wake her up. Was supposed to meet at 4am but I feel asleep. She called me at 410am to wake me up. Got ready and met her at around 445am. We went to ECP Macs for breakfast. Both of us had Hotcakes. It was fun, spending those hours with her before school. She made her way to school while I made my way to Zain's house as we started at 815am instead of the usual 715am. Met him and made our way to school. Met Dennis and some other people on the bus. I was very hyper in school at first. Then I became really tired. Slept alot, Chinese teacher was being a bitch, as usual. Her old naggy voice, which irritates the fuck out of me.

Was supposed to meet Cheri after school to get back my I-Pod, but she had a change of plans. Shall not state what happened, but we realised that both of us were in the wrong and talked things out nicely. A really great improvement, I believe. I hope she does too. Met Sheeka, and Zain, Sheeka and I took 14 to go to Heeren. The bus trip felt kind of fast, but the rest I got was awesome. Bought The Used, Lies For The Liars and Arctic Monkeys, Favorite Worst Nightmare Albums, which cost about $40. I'm glad I had my $20 voucher for HMV. Sent Sheeka to the 12 bus-stop. Zain and I went to Funan, to buy Ice-cream and walked to the Esplanade Bus-stop to take 10. Unexpectedly met Cheri and her friends. They took 196. The 10 took forever to come.

Got off at Zain's house to take 16 as I was going to meet Cheri. Went to her house, got my I-pod back and we slacked for awhile, just me and her. I'm glad we had our own alone quality time. She said she will marry me when I got down on my knees and asked her. Let at around 7 and had to wait 30mins just for the 13 bus back home. That's all for now, nothing else to be said. Everything else is personal, between just Cheri, and I! CIAO!

I LOVE CHERI CHOO XIU LI!

2007-07-08T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hey Everyone! Friday & Saturday were the best days of my life!

Friday, met Cheri in the morning, before school. She gave me the letter. She couldn't find it at first. Then she asked me to check her P.E attire. I waved it around and the letter fell into the drain, which was wet. I was like oh FUCK! I quickly carried the drain cover to get the letter, which was wet, of course. I opened it to dry it, and it tore abit. Cheri told me not to read it, so I told her I go to 7-11 first to get a drink. When I went I read the letter. I was so happy, my mood became better. She said yes! She accepted me back! I LOVE YOU BABY! Went to school. School was more fun than usual! Waited for Cheri dear after school, cause she was following me home to bathe and change all. And we ended up slacking at my house till like 10 years passed! Left for Marina Square to have lunch as we were hungry. Was supposed to go to Suntec at first. We ate at Macs, and spent about at least $20 there alone, I think. After that we took pictures and stuff. But she hasn't sent them to me yet, so I can't post them. Go view her blog for that. We waited for the bus for another 10 years! Cause the first bus that came, which we waited for at least 30mins for, was totally full, and the bus driver did not want to stop. So we waited for at least 1hour for a bus. But it was fun though! I LOVE YOU CHERI! Sent her back home, and left.

Saturday, I went to serve 2 weddings, one which I served by myself. Went to buy stuff for Cheri after that. 3 roses, a card, a bag, and her Eeyore pillow thing that she wanted so much. Met them in church and I was sweating like an idiot as I was running around to get her the stuff, our 6 Months present to her! #070707! Beautiful date there! Met Cheri, Chloe, Crystal, Zain, and some other girl after their cat class to go watch EMDD. It was fun, funny, and enjoyable. Of course I was clinging on to Cheri most of the time. I gave her a surprise with the present as I told Zain to hold it first and she thought it was Zain's! I'm glad you liked it baby! Showed me you appreciated what I got for you! Went to eat dinner after EMDD and sent Cheri home, right to her door.

Sunday, went to church to serve mass, and also 1115 am mass, some prison mass. The thurible was like in flames! So cool, thanks to me. I cursed on the altar. Oops! =) Went for lunch after that, and went to Boon's house. At around 4+, went to play soccer until about 7. Left, and met my family for dinner. Now at home, talking to Cheri dear! Sorry Zain, that I bastard you last minute, I really couldn't go!

I Love Cheri Cause:
-She is so lovable
-She cares for me
-She is concerned about me
-She makes me feel so loved
-She is beautiful
-She is wonderful
-She is amazing
-She is extraordinary
-She thinks I'm special
-She loves me back
-She is adorable
-She is missable
-She is the best Girl ever
-She is the only one who makes me feel this way

I JUST LOVE HER LA! I LOVE YOU BABY!

#070707!

2007-07-03T20:45:00.000+08:00

I'm Love Sick, I Know It. I've never had fever that reached 38.5 before. Seriously. It was only after I read that letter, and started emoing so much, that I fell sick. Everyone else I've talked to think the same way too. I have to tell you that I did have suicidal thoughts last night. But you were already sleeping. So I messaged Nicole and Samantha called me coincidentally. I thank you two for being there for me when I did not have anyone else to talk to, like Cheri. Today, when you found out I was sick, you were there for me, making sure I was feeling alright, along with Chloe. Thanks you. When I was alone wth you, did not have the strenght to walk properly, you held my hand. You made sure I was alright. You kept telling me to rest, to take care. And you showed you cared by telling me you would come down tomorrow if I did not go to school. To take care of me and make sure I was alright. Thank you. I really love you, now you know a part of why I love you so much. No, I also want to thank Zain, sorry I forgot about you. Thanks for being there for me ALL THE TIME. No fail, you were always there! Thank You, best friend.

I only knew how badly I had been treating you and how irritating I was yesterday, when you told me. But I couldn't change before that as I never knew, cause you never told me. Now I can change. And I am changing. I have been even before that letter. I know you see it. I have also been trying to let you feel less awkward. I also want to give you your freedom. But I hope you understand that I still need to see you. I'm that kind of person. I'm very protective over a person I love so much, like you. Very very protective and possessive. But I'll change that. You are the only thing I'm striving for now.

Baby, I'm not alright when you go. I'm not fine.
Please be all mine. I never want you to go.
Because I am all yours, So please be all mine.

Just let me make some time to take it back a little.
The way you smile shines the heavens above me.
Never going to let you go, I want you all the time.
I gotta prove you can trust me.

I need to find a way.
To put this trouble behind us.
Can't spend my life in shame.
Making light of these dark days.

You mean more to me than you'll ever know.
You're my girl and I think it's a shame.
That we get along this way.
Lets work together, and change, take back all this.

Would you believe me if I said I didn't need you?
Cause I wouldn't believe you if you said the same to me.

One more time to say, I love you always.
Just put a little faith into the love we have.
And I'm sure everything will be alright.

I love you to death, could you love me to death?

2007-06-30T00:59:00.000+08:00

Life Starts To Suck Without You.
Life Starts To Suck Without You.

I Miss You. I Need You. I Want You. I Love You.
I Miss You. I Need You. I Want You. I Love You.

Please come back to me. I've told you so many times before why.
Today when you gave me that kiss,
It felt as though every other single problem disappeared.
Nothing else existed, except for you, and me.

You gave me the idea, that you wanted to get back.
You wanted to give yourself back to me,
give everything back to me.

When I lost you, I lost myself.
I lost my heart, my soul, my body.
Everything I had seemed to disappear.

I need you back, I want you back.
You are the only one who could make me feel this way.
Please come back to me.

I would give anything just to get you back.
Give anything, but I won't give up.
You were my pillar of strength.
It broke down, please build it up again.
The pillar of strength, made of pure love.
Pure love, care, and concern.

You say that if you had known it would be this hard,
you would have never started it.
Well, it's already started.
But you still can end it.
Please accept be back into your life.

No girl has ever made me feel this way.
I've never cried over someone this much.
Thought about someone this much.
Dreamt about someone this much.
Loved someone this much.
Begged someone to get back with me.

And that's how much I love you.
Please give me this chance,
and I'll show you.

I'll show you I can be better.
More understanding.
More concerned.
More loving.
More caring.
More sensitive towards how you feel.
I just want that chance from you.

I love you and that's that.
No other girl is good enough for me, like you are.
No other girl is better, than you are.
No other girl can show me this much love, care, and concern.

All I'm asking for is a chance to show who I can really be.
What I can really be.
How I can really be.
I love you and I want you back.
Please come back to me my dear, please.

2007-06-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more, and more

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may,
Come what may,
I will love you,
Until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love, I love you,
until the end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you,
Until my dying day

Oh, come what may,
come what may,
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may,
Come what may,
I will love you,
Until my dying day

Another Song Dedicated To You My Dear
I LOVE YOU!

2007-06-27T21:48:00.000+08:00

Another Song, Specially Dedicated To Cheri Dear

Did I hear you right
Cause I thought you said
Let's think it over

You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where a love once shined so bright
Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause you're only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
Cause you're only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you, you're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I left you

And when I hold you, you're almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you, I'm close to tears
Cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

Far Away

2007-06-26T20:39:00.000+08:00

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance, Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you
I loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

So far away, so far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away, so far away
Been far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted, I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed, I need to hear you say
That I love you
I loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go

Keep breathing
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go

This Song Is Specially Dedicated To Cheri Choo,
The Only One I'll Ever Love.

2007-06-24T22:55:00.000+08:00

Hey there, as everyone who reads my blog should know by now, Cheri and I aren't together anymore. But that doesn't mean that I'm proud of it. I really want to get back with her. But now she is thinking about it. And I'm very afraid that she would say no. I did not expect anything like this to happen. But for whatever I did wrong, I'm sorry.
I want to say thanks to Rachel, Sam, Illi, Chloe, and Nicole, for calling me yesterday after I sent you all my suicidal message to see if I was alright. I want to thank Zain, Nicole and Sam for accompanying me last night on the phone making sure that I would not do anything stupid to hurt myself or to kill myself.
Thanks to all those at church today, Damien, Josh, Boon, Basil, Daryl, James, Paul, Joel, Daniel, Michael, Illi, Sam, Chloe, Louisa, Jolyn, Amanda, Jonita, Uncle Tony, Fr Iggy and anyone else if I missed out for making sure I was alright. Thanks to the servers for making sure I was there for soccer to clear my mind off things. Thanks Boon for providing me with dinner. Thanks Zain for listening to me and how I feel about whats going on, and always being there for me.
Thanks to Tracy and Rikhil for calling, messaging or chatting online with me, and reminding me that you two would always be there for me. At least I know I have friends nearby who care for me. I love you two, I'm glad I know you two. You are the best people I know around the area, and I wouldn't know what I'd do without you two around.
I wish that everything will be back to normal, or even better between Cheri and I after this struggle, not only for me, but her too. Baby I love you. I made that promise to you that I would stop smoking at the end of June, and that is what I'm going to do, to show that you can put your trust in me. I Love You!
I beat my maximum record of crying 6 times in a day, and it's not even over yet. I want everything to be back to normal. I LOVE YOU CHERI DEAR!

2007-06-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

You were my everything. Now you're gone. YOU were the only one who was ALWAYS there for me no matter what. The only one to ever make me feel so loved. The only reason why i kept going on. Why I started to study harder. Why I am who I am today.

For 17 years, I was looking for you. I found you, i had you, and now you are gone. There is no point carrying on with this life anymore. You don't want to give me one more chance, to be who I can really be. To be somebody better. All my efforts were wasted. I'm left with loneliness and emptiness.

You were the only one who ever made me feel that way. I hope you enjoy the rest of your life, find some better guy than me. You don't want to give me another chance. I don't know why. I don't know what I did so wrong. I don't know why you left me. But I'm left with nothing now.

2007-06-21T00:13:00.000+08:00

Okay, thanks everyone for the tags. Although they are not very inviting. Neither is my post. Sorry about that. I was in fury. Alot of things have been happening. What I meant to say was that I don't want you, my darling Cheri, to become someone who you are not. I don't mind you hanging out with Illiana. No I don't. Not at all. She is my sister after all. I'm just afraid you would come to be like her. I'm not saying that Illiana is bad or that I hate her. I love Illiana as my sister. Why would I hate her. I'm just afraid you become somebody different. Different from the you that I love oh so very much.

Now, there were alot of misunderstandings between me and a few other people today, because of that post. I understand that. And I also know that I did say many things that were not supposed to be said. Many insulting things. And I apologise for that. I may not have meant what I was saying at that very point of time. I beg your forgiveness, from whoever I may have insulted. Directly or Indirectly. Cheri, you are the best girlfriend I have ever had. And the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I never want to lose you.

I want you to tell me everything. Even if it is bitching about me or anything like that. So that I will know what you hate about me, and so that I can change that. Maybe you don't see that I want to change for you, to become a better person. I pray about it everyday, morning and night. I just don't know what that hell I want or need to change about myself, to make myself a better person, for you and for everyone else around me. That's why I need you to be here. And I need you to tell me what I should or what you think I should change about myself. Or even what you want me to change about myself.

And I did not go out with a girl one on one exactly. I just met her to take train, to meet other friends for a movie, and took a train back. I wouldn't do anything behind your back. I have never done that before and i never will do that. I wouldn't do to you, what I don't want you to do. I hope you understand that. I hope that everything is back to normal now, or maybe even better than before. I want this to last. It has been my longest relationship ever since my first. And I want this to be the longest one ever. I want this to be my last first kiss. My last start of a new relationship. I love you baby, and I'll never let you go. What about you?

2007-06-20T01:27:00.000+08:00

Looks like this place is more or less dead. Tag boards dead, even if I do blog. Doesn't matter to me now does it. No! You want to read, read. Don't want, then don't. Want to tag, tag. Don't want, don't. It's free anyway. Shows me how much one cares about what I blog. Well, I'll wait and see then. If you had not been reading, please state if you tag. So that I will know who the hell reads and who the hell doesn't. So, I'm not going to blog about my day or anything like that. This time it's different.

Was talking to Cheri. Well, everything seemed good and happy and fine. Until I told her about how I feel about something. I still don't get it. Don't get pissed now, because you yourself told me you were PMSing. And I can't help it if you are PMSing and can't keep your cool. Yes, I don't know how it feels like when you are having your Menses. But if only you could control your anger and temper, especially when it comes to this kind of things.

So, about the bitching. Whats up with that? Yes, I know girls LOVE to bitch about stuff. It just doesn't seem like you. Last time, when you did not hang out with her so much, you were always happy and all. Even when you had your menses, you wouldn't have gotten pissed off so easily. Suddenly, when you start talking and hanging out so much, you bitch much more, and you get pissed off so much more easily than before. It's not that I hate Illiana or that I don't want you to hang out with her so much or anything like that. Yes, she is my sister after all. And Illi, don't take this the wrong way. It's that suddenly, especially after your camp, which I know at which you hung out alot with Illiana, you practically bitch every single day. And it too does seem like as though you tell her more than you tell me. It seems as though you are closer to her than you are to me. Well, that's how I feel at least. And if you do care about how I fell, in which I do trust you that you do, then I hope there is something done to make me feel differently about that.

Even on Sunday, after you read my messages, you did not want to tell me why you were feeling that way. When I wanted to talk to you, you said you were tired. Then I see you talking to Illi, laughing with the rest. Can you imagine how left out I felt? I'm your boyfriend. Is that how a girl is supposed to make her boyfriend feel like? Only for awhile, were you okay. When we left and you messaged me again, everything was turned into anger. Assuming some other perspective about that message not figuring out what it actually meant or anything like that. Well, you should know by now, because of Sunday, that I don't like to console or comfort somebody, especially my girlfriend when there are so many people around. You should know that I would very much more prefer to do it privately or personally. Especially when it has something to do with me. It also felt as though those two were trying to break us up after they said you were not being too sensitive, when I did not even do anything. That's how I felt.

You say I don't change. I think I have, maybe you don't see it. You expect me to know what you want me to change about myself, because we always end u p arguing about it. I do my best to change. But what about you? If you expect me to know what you want me to change about myself, then I too should expect you to know what I want you to change about yourself right? You say when we go out with a group, I don't spend time with you. After I actually do spend time with you, you start to push me to one side and not spend time with me. So how am I supposed to be feeling then? I am doing my best to make myself a better person for you. Are you doing the same for me?

I'm putting it here now, for everyone to see, that I am quitting my habit of smoking not for my sake, but for YOURS and for our future. And I will stop that habit. I know many people don't have faith in me, people whom I call friend. I call you friend, but you don't have faith in me. Does that mean you have something against me? Isn't a friend supposed to have faith in his friend? I know that Cheri has faith in me, that is what she is here for. To support me all the way. And I hope you, friend, do the same. Everyone does know that this, is a very big step for me. For 4 years of my life I've been smoking. To some it may not seem long. But if you are a smoker yourself, you would understand how bloody hard it is to break the habit. But I'm willing to do it, not for myself but for Cheri!

This post was not meant to give out any form of insult or hatred. DO NOT take or think of this post in the wrong way. It is generally based on past experiences. The past is what is left behind, the future is what is left in your hands, the present is a gift to you. Only you can decide what happens.

2007-06-14T02:05:00.000+08:00

Hello There! Haven't blogged for awhile now. I'm not really in the mood now but will blog anyways! Will blog about the past 4 days.

MONDAY

Met Cheri dear at 2PM at her house, to go to the airport to send her and her family off. It was her Mum's birthday. Reached the airport, Cheri and I walked around, we talked about our past argument, which was on Sunday and other personal stuff. Everything got settled and both of us were happy. We went to eat at Burger King, Damien came awhile after to accompany me. Went to the check in area. And oh yes! Saw these Bangladesh Men Checking in at the China Airways! The stewardess would go chee chong fan and they will go aksdgsajf gafabdfga! Haha! Well, sent Cheri off. Damien and I made our way to my house. Watched cartoons and played chess. Met Nigel and the rest in the evening for dinner and to slack. I did not sniff as Cheri doesn't want me to, of course. And Jen came over to stay at my house! We went to skate for abit, relive the old times! And that was about it!

TUESDAY

Woke up early to meet Shuna and Stephanie at Bedok Macs. I just bought a cup of iced milo, and we took train down to Orchard, Wheelock, to watch Armchair Play. It was raining and as the place was open air we had to wait. The wait was long but fun and entertaining. Shuna loved the music. Ate at BK after that and made our way to Ahmad's house. We parted, all went home to get some stuff. All met back at East Coast Park to slack and have dinner. Shuna and Steph walked the wrong way, and as a result took extremely long to come. Smoked Cigar and slacked awhile more till we parted. Took cab home with Shuna and Steph! That day was very fun! Shuna is my Stupid Shawty! Haha! Steph is the Stupid Girl! And that was the end of Tuesday!

WEDNESDAY

Woke up early. Went to meet Terri as she wanted company to watch a movie, Shrek 3. She was late! But never mind. The movie wasn't too bad, but wasn't that awesome either! We went to Plaza Sing for the movie. The theatre was freezing. Went outside straight away after to cool down. Terri wanted to play with the hamsters so we went to my house for awhile. She left and I went to Zain's house to meet him. We slacked, he showed me videos of his trip and we made our way to my house. Both of us were on the phone. I to Shuna and he to Sheeka! Funny! Kept going to smoke. Went to sleep after.

THURSDAY, TODAY

Woke up early as Zain had to go home. Miss that fella! I slacked at home and watched the Spongebob Squarepants Movie! It was quite nice. Funny! Lightened up my day! Met Zain at 4+ to go to Changi for my cousin, Germaine's Chalet and BBQ. It was quite fun. Went to watch Incredible Tales. Zain turned off the lights and Christian started to cry, whereas the Girls were screaming. Funny! Zain and I left at around 10+. Now I'm home, nobody to chat online. Messaging Samantha Peh!

I haven't got to see Samantha, Illiana, Nicole, Rachel, Louisa, Chloe, Joel for the past few days, since Sunday! Miss them loads!

I haven't got to see or message Cheri since Monday, as she is away. I miss her loads loads more. Can't wait for her to get home! Her birthday is today, Happy Birthday Baby! I mean, yesterday. 14th June.

Zain's and Nicole's Birthday coming up on the 21st of June. My Mum's and Ian's on the 17th!

WELL, THAT'S IT FOR NOW, SO TILL NEXT TIME, CIAO!

2007-06-06T21:14:00.000+08:00

Hey there. Today was really boring. So I shall blog about yesterday. Met Cheri at around 9 I think. Then made our way to Bedok Inter to meet Joel and Sam. They both had no clue where they were. So I had to go look for them. Went to macs for breakfast and met my sister to pass her something. Made our way to Vivo after that, to watch Blades Of Glory. The movie was great and gay. Funny too. Walked around and went to Sentosa after that, even though we did not have money. Haha. Went back to Vivo and took train back. Went for dinner at East Coast and sent baby back. She never allow me to eat my nugget, which dropped on the floor. Cheri don't let me eat my nugget, and vegetables. Hmmph! I love you dear! Thats all. I had fun yesterday. Loves. CIAO!

ELLOS!

2007-06-01T20:33:00.000+08:00

Hello there!

Well, today wasn't too long.

I woke up late, although I had nothing to do.

Wait, because I had nothing to do.

As I was walking to the toilet,

there was this loud thunder sounding for at least 10 seconds.

I got a hell of a shock and jumped.

That really woke me up today.

Went to buy my chicken burger for lunch.

To my grandmothers house and met Rikhil.

Came back, took care of Ian and went to meet Rikhil and others.

Came back, washed the BBQ pit and stuff.

Had my dinner and that was about it.

Everyone is going away.

My best BC friend Rikhil, until 23rd.

My best guy friend, until 14th.

My GIRLFRIEND, from 8th to 16th.

Luckily I've got Nicole, Sam, Illi and the rest to accompany me.

Well, what can I do.

I'm gonna miss Cheri so much.

When I come online, and check who is online.

I see her name, and I will miss her.

Before I sleep, when I pray, I will think of her.

Every time, I will think of her, and miss her even more.

THIS SUCKS ASS!